Merry Merry

Wishing you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Seasons Greeting, Happy Hannukah, 

& Happy Kwanzaa  too.

Giving Thanks

Well I have been MIA (missing in action) because well
1st school has been stressing me, not my children but ME, homework is no fun mark my words.
and
2nd I decided to join in the NANOWRIMO challenge to write a novel in a month. I always said I wanted to write a book or two so I figured why not try this. It has been an interesting time consuming experience.
I have learned a few things about myself in taking on this challenge and one of them is....
Boy do I have an imagination,
You can fall in love with your characters
and
I am not ready for guerilla writing and have just resigned to the fact that I will not be winning the challenge. Oh well still intend to finish the novel whether it is readable or not. LOL

So long and short not really able to blog as much as I would like to.

Seeing that this is Thankgiving weekend for my USA friends I am sure many of you are stuffed full of turkey  and most definitely all shopped out.


Naturally it is not Thanksgiving where I am but it is important to be thankful at all times.

So Giving thanks for
a wonderfully happy, mostly healthy family (hubbie and children)
smiles and spontaneous laughter
friends new and old
and a wonderful supportive extended family
a house with a roof and a dog to run around the yard
and the people that read this blog that's you
and the time to blog because I love it.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend may it be restful!

the Wedding is not the Marriage

I am so disappointed ...
I was going to write a post about Kim Kardashian's Fantasy wedding. I had just seen it's repeat for the 5th time and then I watched an episode of 4 weddings on TLC and the resounding thought in my head was people need to not get too carried away with the wedding.

Watching the two shows I couldn't help but wonder if anyone remembers that the wedding is not the same as the marriage. That the wedding  day though exciting is just a that a day. The marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. 
Sigh but alas I got this post out too late because Kim K and Kris H have alledgedly filed for divorce. Sad.
Yes I am a fan of the reality show and I like all the girls especially loud mouth Khloe. She is my fav.
Anyway let this be a reminder to all that marriage is not about the wedding, the party or the food or how could I forget the dress... it is about the commitment of two people to each other.

Have a Happy Halloween!

What are you dressing as?
We don't partake in it here but I love to see the creative costume.
Be safe!

The agreement- be inspired

 I know most of us have gotten this as an email once or twice or maybe three times but I figured I would share it again because it highlights how easy it is to fail in a marriage once you stop communicating and being intimate with each other. (sorry that it is kind of long)
My brain has been in overload recently so feeling thankful for interesting emails and Facebook posts.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Be inspired

Still reeling from the reality that is death. Saw this on Facebook and I thought it perfect for those days when you are just not sure.

Smile and sharing a bit!

Today is World Smile Day!
So sharing a smile with you!
that and some kooky flowers.

Found "A Blog About Love"
so sharing a link to their 
Tips for a Really Really Great 
Marriage.

Similiar to what I love to say here.. but they are so cute so have to share. There is nothing that I like more than couples so clearly in love.

My favourite tips they share are: 

"Do not EVER speak negatively about your spouse or complain about them to others. Ever, ever, ever. Just don't bring that kind of negativity into your marriage.

Exercise & stay fit! Makes for a positive outlook, healthy body, and great sexy time. :)"

Share a smile with your significant other and any other person who passes this weekend. It will make you smile some more.
Have a great  weekend.

* I am so sad to add that my cousin, who I spoke of in the earlier post, died today. Giving up his fight against cancer! May he R.est I.n P.eace.

Cherish the time you have!

Steve Jobs died to today :(
I was totally shocked I like everyone else I knew he was sick with cancer but I just didn't figure that he would lose the fight so quickly. Cancer sucks.

When I heard of Steve Jobs I instantly thought of my cousin who is currently going through his own battle with cancer. Naturally I am concerned, but even here I send positive vibes his way!
I have been thinking about my cousin and his wife for awhile now, but I haven't been able to sort my thoughts about them so that it makes sense here. They are one of the happiest married people that I know. And all I keep thinking is that what a shame for all that happiness to have to end.
That and
we should always try our very best to enjoy the days that we do have together because you never know when that little line 'through sickness and through health' or 'till death do we part" could come into play.
So I say:

Cherish your loved ones.

Work on your communication

and be always intimate and affectionate with each other.

 Be happy everyone
and R.est I.n P.eace Steve Jobs

Encouraging words

I love you just because you are you

A while ago I took a parenting course, because frankly been struggling with giving time and encouragement to each of my four children. My second child basically being the middle child unfortunately was/is the child that gets left to her devices most time. She is also the one that will be snapped at the most, because she is as precocious, inquisitive, chatta much about not much and fidgety as any eight year can be.
BUT she is also the most sensitive and fragile of the bunch. So I took the course and came away armed with many tools some worked and some still are works in progress.

There were two tools in particular that would work perfectly in improving your relationship.
The first I needed to ensure there was a day or an activity that was just Mummy and daughter time. A special time for just the two of us so that she felt loved and important.
Well, I am sure you see how that can be translated into spending time with your significant others. Either a day with just you two or a night or a quick getaway at a hotel or something. For the hubbie and I going out is not that easy babysitter issues and such... but we do ensure to have a date night at home at least once a month ( though it is not officially titled that way) and it is as simple as sitting together holding hands and watching a movie with popcorn.  Sometimes sitting and eating dinner together after children have gone to sleep work as date night . Just looking for any time to have some together time.

The second one was the use of encouraging words and sentences with my daughter. Words that build up her self esteem and encourage her to do the things that she may not be confident or too afraid to do. I was given a list to learn and try to incorporate in our conversations. Especially around homework time.
That list really prompted the idea for this blog. I thought wow a lot of these lines would be just as effective with the hubbie. So many of us are so harsh with our significant others. We basically take it for granted that out significant others will be there for us always and we sometimes forget that hey they need support as well.

Starter lines like:
I really appreciate when....
I saw that you did.......... thank you
I believe in your ability to......
I love you just because you are you

Working on building up your words of encouragement could never be a bad thing.

I think this is so cool and kinda works on the same principle of encouraging words. I stumbled on to the Bad Day Box from  LoveActually Blog on Pinterest and I fell in love.
In essence you put together a box with love notes, treats and images to encourage your significant other on the days that are not going so great. It is explained so perfectly here.
very sweet I need one :D so I think I am going to put one together for the hubster.

So what words of encouragements do you favour?!

100th

Well what do you know

the post before was my 100th post 

flings confetti in the air! woohoo

it is pity there is no party or party favours for me to hand out to you.

But still join me in a confetti filled dance of excitement.

Shiver me timbers

Today is Talk like A Pirate Day!
LOL
I bet you thought I was going to try to convince you to do some new pirate themed way to communicate with your significant other thus promoting intimacy.
Well I am not .... not really.

I get daily Feng shui tips via email and today for Talk like a Pirate Day the tip was about making treasure maps or most of us know it vision boards.

Treasure mapping, or vision boarding, has long been used in order to create a visual representation of your hopes, wishes and dreams.

Half way through the mental planning of my vision board it hit me, wouldn't it be a great t an hing if you did up a vision board together with your significant other. I don't think I have ever heard of anyone doing a joint board.
What a perfect way to start off your relationship/marriage with a visual conversation of your dreams and expectations and put it up as a reminder of what your goals as a couple are.

The promise inherent in this effort is that before a year is done, some or even all of your intentions on that map will have come true in some shape or form.

What would be on your couples vision board ( I can tell it is never too late to put one together)

Images I would definitely have on our couples board:

Are you noticing a trend. I am looking for happy, hugging family and growing old together :D
Shouldn't we all.

Posts from the Past

This summer has taken its toll on me,
my computer was sick and then died and I have yet to replace it.
Then I was sick and it took me two weeks to get back my energy.
To now finding my self with a bum shoulder. I think my body is giving up on me
cause geez I did have another birthday this month. Yes I did have a party no balloons but with friends and alcohol :)
and then well it is summer and the children need to be entertained and by golly they have been entertaining me
so definitely not giving me anytime to visit here or visit any of my favourite haunts.
 Seeing that there is two more weeks of summer before it is back to school and I have a little more free time. I leave up some my favourite posts.

I appreciate you
Yes Dear
Surround yourself with Happiness
Children
It's your decision choose it
List of good words only
Just 10 minutes
Just Listen
My bucket list


Hoping Hurricane Irene plays nice with all those on the East Coast.
Happy Weekend to everybody else.

To Grey or Not to Grey!

To grey or not to grey now that question of the day.

I know that many of us never think of this when we hook up with our significant other.
Especially women going grey naturally could easily become a group decision.
I found this out recently...because shocker...
I have quite an accumulation of silver/white/grey hair (what ever you want to call it)
I am actually quite comfortable with my white hair.
My mother has had a patch of white in her hair for all of my life and now she is all white with a touch of pepper. So I think nothing of greying naturally.
However the hubbie is not so sure about that.
Grey hair to him is not a symbol of wisdom or triumph over life nope he sees it as simply old age, stress and a symbol of no sleep.I think it interferes with his sleep.
hmmmm
So as a result I have considered going the route of the bottle to cover up those greys
because there are so many things to battle over and I chose not to let my hair be one of them.

Wonder if I should dye those white hair pink LOL!


Have you ever had this type of discussion?

Hold my hand

Holding Hands by Coralay (Drawn art at Deviantart.com)

Remember when you first started 'dating' and you were all hot and heavy it was if you were glued together
palm to palm anyway.
Just that little bit of connection could keep you as you strolled down the street.
Hmmmm memories!

Why is it that after the initial burst of romance most of us couples stop holding hands?

We should never stop.
Hand holding is such a great way to be intimate with each other without being too in your face
and if you have children it allows you to not be too 'gross' LOL
it is communicating with each other without words.
Well that is how I see it anyway.

This weekend I dare you to hold hands with your significant others even if it just while you watch tv.

Have a great weekend !

Under a bit of pressure!

My new favourite show is Marriage under Construction I stumbled onto it by accident one day last week as I was lazing and surfing the channels. It is on DIY , well actually on HGTV Canada and it about this newlywed young couple who are renovating their first home together and how they deal with it. They are the cutest couple ever and honestly that is what I love about the show they are just adorable. But my hat goes off to them if ever there was a test to be had on a marriage, renovating/rebuilding your home is definitely high up there in its challenge quota.

This is definitely the way to see what sort of stuff your significant other is about. And I am not joking in saying that it could surely make or break your relationship.
Moving house is also another hard one.

Who ever thought that marriage/coupledom isn't work has another thing coming to them.

Of course you never know how you or your significant is going to handle any of those situations until you are actually involved in it but it helps if you have taken little test challenges in the earlier years of your relationship.
My mother sent me this link from eHarmony recently which to me nails it on the head. Ok I don't know why my Mother is getting email from eHarmony but haven't asked either LOL
It is titled "6 Situations When the "Real You" Emerges" such as Driving/road trips, getting sick how you deal with it and how your significant other deals with it.
Recently this was on my mind when I unexpectantly spent 5 days in the hospital. My hubbie, who like most hubbies, can get under my skin sometimes.
But in a situation like this he is genius! Perfect, perfect for me!
He stays calm and collected, he does the research for what is wrong and he piles me with love and treats. He gave up sleep for those days to ensure that I slept :D. It is times like these that reminds us why we we chose each other LOL.

Sometimes pressure puts things out of proportion but honestly you may be surprised that you like the shape that it takes when the pressure is off.

have you ever been in a situation that made you think that yup your significant other was a keeper?

Feeling blue...

I am feeling blue!
literally and figuratively!
My computer and mouse turned a queasy shade of blue recently!
And as everyone knows blue is not a good colour for computers.
And no wonder because my hard drive is now DEAD!!
well according to the technicians that worked on it anyway.
SIGH
I had a years worth of pictures on that computer.
Now all gone pouf
So i am feeling blue.



No computer
no pictures
only memories
So it goes.
I guess these things happen.

The marrying age

(squidoo.com)

A friend of mine's little brother got married recently
I was shocked
I instantly thought he was too young to be married
Imagine a young boy like that getting married (28)
too young
I always have this belief that men should be at least 30 when they marry
ensuring that most of the oats are sowed....
and then I paused for moment and did some maths ( I try not to do this very often LOL)
It seemed like ages ago (and it was looking 41 here :s)
but gee if I didn't get married at 29 with my hubbie being 28
yup I am a mini cougar .
So much for my theory.
Have you given any thought about what is a good marrying age ?

Anyways looking at his wedding pictures he is the epitome of being in-love and I thought what a lucky girl
but then you see her and she is just ooozing in-loveness as well.
Newly married love is so sweet to witness.

I have only two, ok three pieces of advice to give to him

3) Always remember to call and say that you are  running late...

2) Remember to spend time with each other if only for 10 minutes every day

1) Kiss Kiss and Kiss some more your sweetie

Let's talk about sex ....

I haven't done this in such a long time... I went blog walking
and I happened about one of my fav blogs again
Gwen in Love
As usual there are a few posts I want to reblog but I especially like
Money, Sex and Happiness and Adding a Little Variety

Yes I know how odd that I am talking about sex as I never do.
Well because in a word I am a prude!
But because I don't talk about it doesn't mean that I don't think that we should all have it and have it often.
As couples we all need to make the effort to not get lost in the day to day drudgery of work, bills, commuting and children and  loss our intimacy. Being intimate, communicating with each other are key elements of long lasting coupledom.... Soooo let's talk about it.

According to WebMD  (the inspiration for Gwen's blog) Dartmouth College economist David Blachflower and Andrew Oswald of the University of Warwick in England report that sex "enters so strongly (and) positively in happiness equations" that they estimate increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by getting an additional $50,000 in income for the average American.

Overall, the happiest folks are those getting the most sex -- married people, who report 30% more between-the-sheets action than single folks. In fact, the economists calculate that a lasting marriage equates to happiness generated by getting an extra $100,000 each year.

Isn't that cool!
Now that you know this would you tumble into bed with your significant other to do more than sleep together? 
Did you ever think there would be a time that sleep would win over sex?

If you think you need help spicing things up in your routine
see the next post from Gwen that has me tickled. Adding a Little Variety
These suggestions are my favourites:

Have secret words so you can imply what you want in front of the kids (e.g. ice cream=sex).
Have a quickie.
Don't wear underwear under your clothing. This may work better-or at least feel more comfortable-with a dress or a skirt.
Have sex with all of the lights on.

Keep eye contact throughout the entire sexual experience- especially during orgasm when you naturally want to close your eyes. This could be one of the most intimate moments you've shared.>> This one though I think I would laugh too much and spoil the mood though laughter is never a bad thing

What say you?

Redbook's Hot Husband 2011

I just had to reblog this article on MSN from Redbook
The Hottest Husband in America, 2011

As you know I love stories like these.
I also think that communication through the form of notes, cards and emails should be definitely encouraged in a couple. And this article has all of it. And the husband is not bad looking.

"I still write Julie love letters," Kyle says. "The one I wrote for her birthday last year listed all the reasons I love her." But for Julie, his most romantic move is the mornings he wakes up with their two boys, Luke and Caleb, and lets her sleep in. "Being a father is Kyle's favorite role and greatest joy in life," she says.

 Isn't that sweet. I wish I could sleep in too... Oh now  I remember, I do, most Saturdays I get an extra hour while hubby tries to keep the children quiet as they tear up the house.
Most days husband get a bad rap so it is good to see one being showcased in such a wonderfully positive light.

In a Gypsy world.

 

Have you seen this show?!!!

Big Fat Gypsy wedding... totally wild and kinda unbelievable!

I will say it again I watch too much television... and clearly I am enthralled with reality shows.

There that is out!

Anyway I saw my first show last weekend and I was mesmerised by the contradictions that this group of Irish 'travellers' presented. The girls dress very suggestively, practice gyrating dance moves yet due to strict gypsy code no sex before marriage. So as far as I can see it that it explains the early marriage age of alot of the brides. In the episode I saw, the girl getting married was 16 years! The dresses were huge huge and shiny. A really over the top show.

The reason I am even mentioning this show is because of the thoughts I had just prior to seeing the show... I had been dwelling on expectations and roles in a marriage. And how as couples we can get lost in our expectations and misunderstand the roles that we see for each other. In the travellers world the role of a woman is very clear- Girls are raised to be housewives, so they are taught to cook, clean and cater to the males in their family from early. Boys are raised knowing that they need to work and bring home the bacon once that is done then they get to hang out and drink beer with the men. Men/boys do not partake in any form of housework and helping with the children is a definite no-no. 

I nearly fell off my chair watching the two examples of this. The fiance of the 16year old went to look at the trailer that he and his bride to be were going to live in and bought it and said oh the place is a mess, but she will have to clean it out when she sees it ... on her wedding night! Because he couldn't be seen doing housework that is woman's work. The second and best example is of this very macho older man who was talking about his baby god-daughter, when asked if he would push the trolley that the baby was in he shook his no! He could never do that how embarrasing that would be if anyone was to seeing pushing a baby stroller! Oh boy.

Though when you go into a marriage knowing exactly what is expected of you and where the lines are drawn for you both, I feel that there is very little room for grumbling on those issues. I could be wrong. Though it must make certain things easier I feel. 

I remember my husband in the early days of our marriage accusing me of wanting to 'domesticate' him because I thought to ask him to wash the dishes seeing that not only did I hate to wash dishes, but I had cooked dinner. He nearly lost it. For our first two children he may have changed one diaper maybe two diapers and that is only because I was not home at the time and he couldn't pass them on to me. Maybe our adjustment into marriage would have been easier if we were as clear with what roles men and women held as in the Gypsy/traveller world. Maybe who knows for sure.

What do you think?

Do you think defining clear roles would make it easier?

Hey

 

Ok what happened?!

What did I do?

I looked at my stats

(yes I know I said would stop and it doesn't matter much here but still need to see)

and

there were 246 visits yesterday!!!! 

Wow 

Shocking LOL

Happy to have had you

                          Say Hello next time will ya !

Sharing...

I thought this was an interesting article so I am sharing with you.. click on the link

The Curse of the Just-OK Marriage

After a few years of marriage and maybe a few kids, many couples settle into a routine and can take their spouse and relationship for granted. Here are ideas on how to keep the spark alive.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=28643338&gt1=32092

and now that you have read that you have to look through these pics for inspiration.
Who said that Hollywood marriages/partnerships don't last!

http://www.ivillage.com/long-lasting-celebrity-couples/1-b-351031 

Have a great weekend

There is no changing here!

I haven't been here in like ages and now all of sudden I am here again teehee
my time has freed up a teensy bit so now I have time to think....

just needed to share this...

IN case you have been living in a cave on the tallest mountain not yet discovered.
It thought I would say
NEVER
                  NEVER
                                            NEVER
and I think I'll add one more
NEVER go into a relationship
thinking that the person you are going with,
living with
or getting married to
will change.

Sigh...

What's that old adage...

When the cat's away the mice shall play!

Well that is how I felt recently when my sweet hubbie and my son went away for 10 days!
The first night I was like oh no how am I going to sleep?
But slowly I started to embrace the fact that the entire bed was all mine for the while.
My pillows were my own as was all the covers.
And the television teehee I think I lost a lot of sleep because I stayed up watching shows that I would normally forgo because I know the hubbie would be either frowning or grumbling or outright ridiculing me for wanting to see such a show.
I had a blast I felt as if I was in college again.... mind you with three very demanding roommates LOL but they were asleep by 10.
So I had  plenty time to do what I will.
I basically overdid it on computer and television because there was no one to say 'What ya still doing that" scowl! LOL

I think it is okay to look forward to some 'breaks' from your significant others.
You really don't realize how restricting it can be being a part of a couple.
There is always going to be some form of compromise and sharing but that is what you sign up for.
Honestly, I embrace the breaks when I get them, but I enjoy the sharing that comes with being a couple.
As it is better to share, compromise and battle for the covers with someone than it is to not have that significant other again. And also the other thing that distance or time apart does is make the heart go fonder.
And  in that case the sharing of the bed, pillows, television wouldn't matter as you would be too busy 'saying' how much you missed  each other.


Am I the only one that enjoys the little me time?
What do you do when it is just you?

A Royal Wedding

Like most of the world I woke up early last Friday
(ok I was rudely awakened by my mother-in-law and my sister LOL geez it was 4am in the morning and I needed my sleep!!!)
Anyway I figured seeing that I 'was' at Diana's wedding as my sister reminded me with tissue on hand... it was only fitting that I attended her son's wedding
and I was not disappointed.
and as I watched the ceremony for the fifth time later in the day I couldn't help the sniffles
because weddings are magical
and this Royal wedding was no different.
The fairytale aspect of the girl winning her Prince was super sweet as well.
What girl hasn't dreamt of her Prince riding in from the sunrise and claiming her!

My favourite part of the whole ceremony was when he looked at her with a sweet smile and told her she looked beautiful... swoon!

But as beautiful as the dress was,
as dashing and princely he looked,
as fabulous as the ceremony was
I just couldn't help being bugged out about him not participating fully in the ring exchange.

Why couldn't he simply go through the ring blessing and just opt not to wear the ring.
On thinking of it I know that yes it would cause a media frenzy if he was ever spotted out without his ring.
Yet still
it cheapened the whole ceremony to me.... it seemed as if Catherine (love that she is no longer Kate LOL) was the only one getting married!
hmmmm
Which lead me thinking about women who do not change their name when married... it is pretty much the same thing isn't it?

What do you think, is it ok that Prince William refused to wear a ring?
Would you ever accept that from your significant other?
What about the whole woman keeping their name thing? How do you feel about that?

But this show is my favourite :s

One of my new favourite tv shows in syndication is
How I met your mother!
I guess it is the new Friends
anyway I love it, it makes me laugh every time.

I watched an episode recently that made me think.
Ted got engaged to a woman who had never seen Star Wars Ted's all time favourite movie. His best friend Marshall insisted that she couldn't be the one if she never saw Star Wars.  They both sat on egg shells while she sat through the movie and then she pretended to love it. They actually never did get married she chickened out but not because of the movie.
But should it have been a sign that they were not matched right?

Watching this episode I sat giggling because well I am a Star Wars junkie and ....
so is my husband. Well I am a sci-fi junkie. Love them all.

But then I started to wonder... 

I never once thought about my hubbie not liking my movie choices. After sci-fi, I love a woman powered show, love romantic comedies and English history flicks Yup!.
His favourite movie of all time is Wall Street. He knows this movie word for word literally... he knows every line that Micheal Douglas says, and Charlie Sheen says, and even some of Darryl Hannah!
I watched it once thought it was good but felt no desire to see it again.
After Wall Street, he is a if it has a car chase, unnecessary explosions, gun-wielding, please show some more breast movie kind of guy.

Should I have taken that as a consideration as a sign that there would be fights, arguments even over what to watch on the tube or at the theater probably. Maybe

However I am finding it hard to base the success of our union on our similar or not similar taste in movies.
Because though we have differing tastes in movies and sitcoms we have managed to find common viewing material that doesn't gross the other out. And by the way we both love Star Wars LOL

Does your tv/movie style differ to your significant other?

Would you not be in a relationship or not get married to someone if they loved a particular movie? What is that?

What is your favourite show/movie?

Like sand in an hourglass

Just like the sands in an hourglass
time just seems to be slipping away
down a glass casing
meddling into the other grains till you can't distinguish
the first grain with the last.

That is how it been lately in my life
crazy busy
so busy that I am not even sure whether
it is today or yesterday.

So I was really shocked but not surprised that
almost an entire month has slipped on by
and not an update has occurred on the blog.
Sigh

But life is getting back to normal so I suspect you would see more posts

Until then  have a great weekend.

Life happens

Life happens
things are planned
but they are changed because
things happen to change it up.

So life happens
I had scheduled more posts but life happened to many of my moms and then
askew went my schedule OOps

And then I got sick and so did  the children
and lo and behold
Oops
askew went everybody elses schedule :D

But I am back on schedule and feeling a good bit healthier
so all being well I hope to be posting more like usual.

Marriage is like that by the way
you may have things planned to go a certain way and a
to do things in a certain way
but it never does
you may think you want children a particular time
and there you go
they come too early or they are hard hard to conceive.
Jobs may make you leave the house you knew you and your spouse would live in together
or you have to leave the country you so loved.

Your attitude is key in how you handle these changes in a marriage and life!
Keep it positive and even those times that are not sailing smooth would feel bareable.
Well that is how I feel.

By the by if there is any of you who would like to post their AHA Love moment please give me a shout and I would be happy to share it here :)

That Aha Moment- Meet Nicole!

In honour of Valentines Love season and with the help of some of my blogger friends I introduce the first in a  short series -

 The question I am asking is and they happily agree to answer:

Do you remember that AHA moment when you KNEW he was the one, that this was it. This was the man you were going to marry!

I am so happy to have my friend Nicole of  "When Did I become my Mom!" answer this question:
A little intro -Nicole like me is from the sunny twin isle of Trinidad and Tobago. Trinidad is currently in the Carnival season. Carnival is the greatest most beautiful show/street party in the world... hey I may be biased but that is okay I am a Trini LOL.




Carnival fever is here! The beat of life changes - there's an energy of joyful, suspenseful anticipation in the air.
For us Trinis, Carnival Monday and Tuesday are like the ultimate stress release valve.
We forget our cares and worries, and enjoy being people - in tune with the music and vibrance and friendship that's wrapped up in the ultimate street party!

For me, that stress release valve starts opening for real at Panorama - where steelbands battle it out for the crown of Pan Champions.
As one friend describes it - it's the embodiment of the audacity of hope of my people.
The steelpan is only musical instrument invented in the 20th century and each pan begins as an abandoned oil drum.
Tuned and beaten over fire, it is destined to be transformed into tenor, guitar, cello, bass, and join together in a symphony of steel, melodies of a people coaxed with rubber-tipped sticks.

THAT is Panorama!

A celebration of wonder and possibility of daring to believe!

I never miss it.

For more reasons than one.


You see, if it wasn't for Panorama, I'd never have met my husband.

The son of a pan-man, he never misses Panorama either. He has a love for the steel - I have a love for what it represents.
Every year, I would see him. Every year we'd strike up conversation.
We didn't have friends in common, but such is the "all of we is one" of Carnival.
He was funny and reckless, but we'd never see each other again for the rest of the year - our social circles being totally out of sync.

But every year I would wonder....



In 2000 I returned to Panorama after a 4 year absence, having been abroad pursuing my Bachelor's degree.
I was back for good, and this was my first Carnival in 4 years - I was intent on enjoying every moment of it!
Returning to Panorama again... I wondered... would I see him.

I did.

We had a great time. And we drew stares of surprise -from his friends and mine. :-)

We made arrangements to meet at the next fete. And the next, and the next.

And I knew.

I think I always knew.

This year marks our 10th wedding anniversary. It's not til June, but we'll be celebrating early.

After all... this weekend is Panorama!

If you would like to join in please send me an email at gaylenjcdotgmaildotcom I would be happy to post it!

That A-Ha your it moment...

The first time I ever laid eyes on the guy that would be my husband
was say the second month of my college life.
I was sitting in 'the pit' soaking in the college vibe
and then this guy caught my eye.
What a surreal movie moment
It was as if light was surrounding him
a spot light shining down from the heaven
There he walked dressed in suit and tie swinging a briefcase
( yes I did say we were in college but he is preppy like that... picture a black Micheal J. Fox)
and I thought wow now that is a good looking fella
That is the guy I am going to marry!
Screech!!!!!!!!!! What was that... where did that come from!
I instantly panicked because it was the strangest sensation I just knew that it was true even though we had not even met. It didn't help that I didn't plan to get married ever and also I was in a long-distance relationship already to confuse the brain.
So I quickly chastised my self and let it slip out of my mind.
But as faith would have it
The guy introduced himself a month later, we did the friend thing for a bit and
when we were both single
we gave it a try
and
as I predicted
it felt right
we felt right
and I did want to marry him in the end!

Today marks 12years that we have been married actually
fun times... we have had our high notes and we have had some pretty tough low notes
but looking forward to many more happy high notes!
Happy Anniversary to me... to us :D


In honour of Valentines Day and with the help of some of my blogger friends today I kick off a short series -

The question I am asking is and they happily agree to answer:

Do you remember that AHA moment when you KNEW he was the one, that this was it. This was the man you were going to marry!

Oh and if you would like to join in please send me an email at gaylenjcdotgmaildotcom I would be happy to post it!

Happy Happy Valentines to you!

I'm in the mood for love...

simply because you are near me. lalalalalala

I have been humming that tune all day.
Pretty normal for this time of year

I love Valentines
I think it is the hearts

I love hearts
Maybe something to do with my first ever crush and his name being Hart.

Yeah probably that
maybe not

however Valentines gives me the excuse to wear hearts
wear red and pink if I choose
and to fling red heart confetti around
woohoo.

That being said I really don't have any expectations when it comes to Valentine's Day
I don't get into the whole chocolate and flowers thing
though I do love a beautiful bouquet.
hmmm and a stuffed animal

Before I got married it could come and go and it wouldn't matter.
But it is a little more special to me now
seeing that it is also my anniversary
So now I expect to at least go to lunch
and oh yes a gushy card LOL
sprouting words of love :D

What about you what are your expectations for this season of LOVE?
Dinner and a movie?
Fancy sit down dinner with wine?
Or cuddle time at home with some popcorn on the couch?
Gifts of sweet candy and long stemmed roses? Love those too :)


You know I am curious!

Excuse while I sprinkle you with heart confetti.
Have a heart-filled weekend.

45 lessons on life

I very rarely get an email that I think is appropriate to share on Great Expectations but I am really enjoying this one and think you would too.
Tell me what you think!

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! 

Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the
Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio :
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. 

It is the most requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here
is the column once more:
 

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
 

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.

  Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
 

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
 

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea 

    what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. 

    But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. 

    But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't 

    take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. 

    Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 

    'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of 

    anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw 

    everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
 

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

                               
I really like #25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

What about you!

Have a great week all  

Saying Thanks

We are already one month into 2011 already can you believe it.

Boy have I been scarce...too many things on the plates. Most importantly focusing on achieving some sort of balance with my four kiddies.


I feel compelled to send a big smile at two blog friends who always ALWAYS visit and most importantly comments on my posts.
It warms my heart and makes me smile every time I see their comments because their blogs are two of my favourites haunts.
Thanks to Paula of Two Ellie and Mrs. French
and Andrea of Multiple Mama
Love them to bits.

 I am also appreciative of the 10-12 persons that pass through daily. Not sure who you are but nice to have you!

Have a great weekend all

I am the Queen!

I watched The Young Victoria with Emily Blunt yesterday
I thought it was great
but that is because I think I have a bias for period pieces especially English pieces.
It was my favourite time in history even when I did it in class. Actually I am wrong I loved the time when King Henry VIII was in reign ( I wouldn't want to live then but there was so much going historically with religion and politics WOW!) The clothes if you had money was ridiculous love it
Anyway the movie was a sweet lovestory
and I am smittened.

My favourite line and is one I wish I could use and get away with in my life:

You are JUST my husband I am the Queen and you WILL do as I say !

Yup it was good.
Don't you just wish you could say that sometimes... ok all the times LOL.
However, their marriage was according to the movie about  sharing, caring and compromise.
She clearly loved her husband because 40 years after his death she was still putting out his clothes for the day.
No that is love.


What little special act do you do each day for you significant other?

Don't worry I can't think of any either... though I do ensure he has a vitamin every day to eat with his meal.
Does that count :)

Some days...

you just feel to scream!

The way you handle those days
will define how you act .


So do you find a good pillow to let out that lusty scream into?
Or how about that empty bathroom around the back?
Or do you call a friend who will scream
Or does your kitchen get a scrub down?

I am still working on letting out and diffusing my scream
though a drive around the block then a blog walk did a good job of
making things fall back into place.

Though I think if you need to scream
let it out!
LET IT OUT
you will feel better for it.