Thursday, December 30, 2010

Open the door!

Photo credits:

To my children a closed door is meant to be opened.
There are no inhibitions
No concerns
No fears
They just turn the knob and push it open.

It made me think...
as adults we have been taught to tread lightly around closed doors.
Closed doors are meant to stay closed until someone welcomes us in.

And don't we use this same thinking when it comes to people and relationships
Some issues we just stand and wait to be welcomed in.
We see them as closed doors that we have to rap gingerly/timidly at .

What  if we adopt a childlike attitude to closed doors and other situations like them
Instead of seeing the closed door as a blocked opportunity or relationship
We work on finding a way to open it!

May 2011 be the year that we all see the wonderful possibilities that lay behind those doors.

See you next year!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Five days count down till Christmas....

I just love Christmas

Here are five things I was thinking would be great for  you to say just before Christmas:

Tell your significant other

Day 5                   You're Wonderful. (just because)
Day 4                   I think you are beautiful/handsome
Day 3                   Of course you are right! :) ( ok couldn't help but snicker at this one too)
Day 2                   Dance with me ( music not required)
Day 1                   Love you more
and on
Christmas day say them all together with a huge Merry Christmas of course.
Oh and wouldn't it be great if you pretended that there is huge swag of mistletoe hanging over head and bestowed Christmas kisses all week long :)

(of course if you have mistletoe by all means whip it out)
Just a thought

Monday, December 13, 2010

Why bother...

Why do we let these insignificant things get under our skin?   

 empty roll or which is the correct way to hang the roll LOL
 uncovered toothpaste tube, or worse squeezed in the middle
Forgotten garbage.

At the end of the day these are all minor things that we should never dwell on or allow to grow into to huge big things.
Focus on the big picture
Talking your relationship here!
and then these things are really as insignificant as the are suppose to be.

Just a thought.
Are any of these things that get under your skin?
Is there anything else that could make this list?
How do you handle it?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Managing the hubbie

The other day I was blushing from all the wonderful compliments that my hubbie was unexpectantly piling on me.

All of a sudden I was
and while we were at it I was
(his words not mine!)

what caused this surge of emotion? you may be wondering
well he actually listened to me
yes yes you heard right he listened to me
mind you I very quietly said the thing over and over for about four day and NO I didn't NAG LOL!

Yes he listened to me and did something with his mother that not only made his mother happy it actually made him feel good!
hmmm can you feel the rumbling of that I TOLD YA SO coming out from deep within.

well luckily for him it didn't come LOL.
because this is one thing that I know for sure falls in my portfolio.
I am the one that is responsible for birthdays, celebrations and proper mother etiquette LOL
and strangely this role doesn't phase me at all.

Are you the one that is responsible for maintaining  family relations?
Do you mind it?
What different role do you have that you embrace and just doesn't phase you?

Sunday, November 28, 2010

And the sun will set!

Steel Magnolia is one of my favourite movies.
I may have seen it a few thousand times.
Yet I laugh out loud,
I giggle
and a cry up a storm
and just when I am sinking into the tears
I am laughing again.
Every single time!

I watched it today and  for the first time it hit me, as I watched the family deal with Shelby's (Julia Roberts) impending death and the decision to take her off of life support, the importance of knowing each other wishes if ever a situation like that was to happen.

Would you want to stay on life support as long as is possible or would you rather have a non-resuscitate order written down somewhere?
How about when you do die will you be buried, cremated or sunk at sea (okay buried)?
A will? Yes one is needed, but how soon do you get one?

Yes today my favourite movie had me thinking some seemingly morbid thoughts.
Though they may be morbid. They are reality.
They are thoughts that should be expressed a few times with your significant other because just as life happens so is death inevitable.

So do you have a plan?  Have you ever thought of what you would do?
( I haven't but thinking about it now)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I am the strict parent
I am the Bad Cop to my husband's Good Cop
Most days I find myself being the non-fun parent while the hubbie is reveling in all his funness (yes I made it up!)
Some days I feel like how Claire felt in last week's Modern Family why can't it be me?!
I want to be the fun parent!

Where am I going with this you may be wondering!

Well even though we may have slightly different roles when it comes to parenting, the one thing that we tend to work together on is our parenting. 

We have similar ideas on how our children are to be raised.
We have similar ideas on the disciplining of our children.
We have similar expectations when it comes to being a parent.

Not saying that we don't knock heads over certain things like diet and supplements and certain therapies for our son on the spectrum or how much is too much sugar for our neuro-typical daughter. But for the most part we agree!

I believe that parenting on the whole is hard! Adding differing parenting styles to the pot puts way too much grief and strain in a marriage. If ever there was a discussion that should be had before the wedding would also be this one.
Along with the -do you want children?, how many do think would you like?
You need to ask -So how was your upbringing? What kind of parent do you think you will be

I believe you need to know if your significant other to be is a spanker, a belt wielder, a long talker, or a time outer. And then you go in there knowing what you are dealing with!

Joanna Goddard of  Cup of Jo  did a series 'Secrets of a Happy Marriage' last year and I am reminded of this couple as I write this post. The wife - Leigh says it perfectly:

We're madly in love, have tons of fun together and experience a strong mutual physical attraction. But our shared beliefs about family continue to be an integral part of our marriage. Now that we have our own children, I'm so grateful to have found a mate with whom the journey of parenthood is a joy, not a source of strife.
 So as I said even though I may not be the fun parent to my children by allowing a treat every night especially on a night after a class party filled with all the cake and ice cream that a daughter can eat. I know that my hubbie agrees with me and wouldn't give it behind my back. And similarly I know there will be days when the giggling can not end and it will be the hubbie who is playing bad cop to my good!

It is definitely something to think about!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t. 

Isn't that an interesting fact to know LOL!
I stumbled upon this list on Yahoo yesterday 10 quirky facts about kissing and had to share it with you all.

I have lifted the one I love:
  • A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout! 
  • Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running. 
Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.
And of course the one I started with.

Do you remember to kiss your significant other when they leave through the door?
When they get back?

I don't remember, But look at the benefits I am missing
Today is a good day as any to start smooching!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Missing in Action and a Wedding

In case you are wondering I have been away .
I know I should have had the forethought and scheduled some posts or guest post or something 
BUT I didn't SORRy

I went with the twins to my birth land -Trinidad 
for my best friends wedding :)
Traveling with babies is no fun 
especially ones that cry on planes 
but the trip home was lovely.

This is my friend's first and dare I say it final marriage!
If she were to ask this is the advice I would give to her
(well whether she ask or not I am sharing it with her LOL)

  1. Love each other! 
  2. Be clear on both your expectations! Is he expecting a cooked meal every day even though both you are working are you?
  3. Talk to each other- Remember to always find time to talk to each other. Spend at least 10 minutes with each other a day. (because life gets in the way)
  4. Make a choice to stay married.
  5. Accept each other differences.
  6. Don't sweat the small stuff- it doesn't matter if the tooth paste cap is left off or the toilet roll is turned wrong
  7. Always always make time to be intimate :)
Yup that is just a few  of the things I would share with my friend!

Have a great weekend!

Monday, November 1, 2010

My 7yr old daughter proclaimed very matter-of-factly this week that school is too hard and that she would be staying home next year instead of moving up to Grade 3!
Feeling sad, I had to give her a hug  because I knew that this was only the beginning.
The work is guaranteed to add up and maybe become even harder!
So I sat her down and reminded her that everything is hard in the beginning and
with practice,
practice and
more practice
you would soon find that the same thing that she once found to be hard would be as easy as pie.
And cited my favourite example of her ability to cartwheel.
The need to do the cartwheel perfect from the beginning used to bring her to tears
but with some cajoling she practiced and practiced until now she is a cartwheel expert.

Too hard!
Sometimes aspects of marriage can feel too hard to bear...
But you know what if you keep in mind that to be the best at anything you have to practice, practice, practice.

practice at communication,
practice at being loving,
practice at supporting
practice at being the best wife/husband possible
Then you will be on your way to perfecting that cartwheel
or in this case marriage
 And before you know it you can have the marriage that you been dreaming of!

Or in other words anything worth its salt is worth working at it!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Yes Dear

Do you ever find yourself just saying 'Yes Dear'

The hubster is moving his office.
No problem that is cool right!
Well the hubster is moving his office into our home for a month and scheduled it while he would also be in Miami on a trip!


Pretty sharp eh scheduling a move this Saturday and then leaving town.
And leaving his wife to 'deal with it'.
I thought it was genius... next time we move house I am going to leave town too LOL.

Between the two of us we fight to show which one hates  moving more and I guess I have to give it to him because when we moved house two years ago he was also MIA. That move was almost the end of us. LOL.... it was then that I came up with my good words backup.

This time I commented on his genius and the fact that not only would I be missing my class (which ordinarily wouldn't a big thing if I hadn't just planned a meeting for that class with my group) to which he said 'it's not always about you- Gayle... it has to be done! That is the day that the mover can do it'

And my response was 'Yes Dear!'
I could have gotten annoyed, well I was a bit miffed and I could have sulked, but hey I would still have to miss my class and I would still have to supervise the move.
No matter if I sulked or stormed so I chose to not react negatively and
I will ensure that the place is not 'cluttered' because that will bug me and then he would be slapped.
At least he dealt with the small stuff. That is a huge positive.
I also saw a look of being overwhelmed by the situation so with those two little words I made a decision to give support rather than grief.

Do you ever find yourself simply saying YES DEAR ! sometimes?
Do you make a habit of seeing the positive? (what can I say I am a chronic Pollyanna)

Monday, October 25, 2010

I appreciate you!

Now this topic is a little hard for me
well because I am still fighting it! LOL

In all the couples advice available you would surely find the line
Be sure to thank your spouse!
Show him that you appreciate when he does something so that he feels good about it and continues to do it!

My response has always been (mentally)
Why do I have to say thank you because
the hubbie has:
looked after the children...isn't that his job as well?
if he has cooked breakfast AND left behind a tornando style mess in the kitchen... shouldn't he be helping out anyway?
taken out the garbage or cuts the lawn...once again isn't that what he is supposed to do?

However it hit me yesterday that if I got off of my high horse and thought about it a minute everyone loves being appreciated.

Why this revelation?
Well the hubbie and the children took the time to mention that they were enjoying breakfast :)

They didn't have to do it but it sure made the tolling in the kitchen worth it!
Thinking back I remember a time my mother having a fit because no one mentioned how lovely her meal was.
We were all under the age of 11 so not one of us thought to mention it even though it did taste good albeit it did have onions in it which I happen to despise to this day.

So here is the thing,
we all like being praised, thanked and appreciated.
We love it when our hubbie tells us we are beautiful even though we know otherwise...geez pjs and morning hair are never a great combo.
We love when a meal is praised, appreciated and eaten all up.
We love it when you get a kiss for being the best Mummy ever!
 And all of those mentioned fall under things that 'you are supposed to do'.

So on the day that the hubbie is posturing for a trophy or an award after cleaning the kitchen for 'you'* (yeah that once in a blue moon time) be nice and be sure to say
THANK YOU and really be thankful.

*(ps now this is just an example because God knows the moon would have to be purple before my hubbie would help clean LOL)

Friday, October 22, 2010

Good Morning Sunshine!- la deuxième partie

Saying anything in French always makes things seem so much more romantic.
la deuxième partie meaning part 2
(for those of us that are not remotely bilingual)

Anyway  the best way to combat the grumpys and possibly eliminate it all together is by taking control of the situation.

My two favourite solutions come from two unlikely sources.

The first comes from Joyce Meyer 
Charismatic Christian author and speaker:

Before you actually get out of the bed you should roll into a hug with your significant other. Release your self into the hug and presto you both are off to a good start.
Joyce and her hubby starts off their day this way.
I made a point of doing this for 1 week straight and I have to say it really did make a difference to the grumpy level in the morning.
You should definitely try it. - Hugs

The second comes from one of the contributors to 
'Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul2' . 

This trick is to put out a positive outlook to the day by saying these two simple phrases:
'I love you... today is going to be a Great Day!'
The writer said it  every Sunday to her entire family to help motivate her family to get ready and reach to church without any fuss or grumpyness or dragging of feet.
I decided to try it with my hubbie and my family and I have to say that there is something to saying positive words aloud.
It is almost like putting up a positivity shield around everyone.
Everytime I say these words to the hubbie he smiles.
And you know that is all that is what it is for!

So remember give a hug then say I love... today is going to be a Great Day!

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Must I do everything around here!?

 'must I do everything around here'- my husband's favourite line.

I do believe he says that just to get under my skin
I think he likes to see the hairs on my neck rise up at attention and the vein on my head strain as I practice biting my tongue.
like most thing in our marriage I let it slide
Because really is it necessary to hit him with the frying pan because he said something idiotic...
no it is not because at the end of it all it would be me tending to the bruise!
like I need more things to take care of! LOL
 (for the record I don't believe in violence)

In the beginning of our marriage it would bug me more because I was working full time, dealing with the extra-curriculars of both children and making sure everything in the house was in order. He on the other hand was working for himself- 'exploring his options' ( he is a self taught web designer and innovator) and trying his hand on volunteer coaching. Yeah it would bug me a whole lot then.

I went away for a week one time and it provoked him into saying that I left him to take care of his life and my life. If I didn't know how stressed he was!. huh?!
My life being the children and everything else; his life being just him.
I could have throttled him.

Instead I did what I always do I tried to put myself in his shoes and I was able to rationalize that he did indeed have his role.
I may have been the more stable breadwinner
he was responsible for getting those bills paid; for doing the budget and making sure we stayed on it; for keeping gas in the car, oh and that the car stayed 'healthy'; and for any thing that involved a form or a document.
hmmm he did have a lot on his plate!

Time happened  we added more children to the family and my pregnancies though easy enough and uneventful usually start off with a dire warning of 'don't lift anything but your elbow' and he did take more and then I got pregnant with the twins and he basically took everything on because I was so pained up and tired ALL the time!
He did the groceries
picked up the children
bought me nutritious not always delicious meals but always good for me and my growing belly for breakfast and lunch
was responsible for bathing the children- bathing children is so taxing I would be a wreck each time or is it just my children LOL
and he also had taken on his father's business with a whole can of stress.
All of this on top of what he used to do before!
I really gained an appreciation for him through this third pregnancy. My hero.

Even now that things have gotten less chaotic with me bodywise he still takes responsibilty for the groceries and he bathes/supervises the older children... what a relief!
So now when he say must i do everything around here?! I say yes and smile because he may not do everything but it is pretty darn close.

Alisa Bowman of Project Happily Ever After said this:
many spouses probably walk around with this simmering resentment about their partners who seemingly do so little around the house. Little do they know that their partners have the same resentment about them. Fascinating, right?
And I knew this was true for us at least, because this was a topic I had been piecing together to share here and saw that she was tackling the same issue there.

So I suggest you read her post ( I like how she breaks down the division and allocation of tasks) then think about what exactly it means when you or the significant other shouts

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

9 Things Every Couple Must do!

I stumbled onto the Bucket List Journey by Annette Renee White recently! 
'Cause that is what I do I blog walk, stroll and at times stumble. 
Stumble meaning that I basically clicked on a link which led me to another link and then bam I am on a cool site... I am somewhat addicted :) 
Oh I digress...
I stumbled onto her blog and fell in love with her concept because I as you know recently put together my own bucket list of sorts. See here!
Imagine an entire space dedicated to carrying out your bucket list so cool!
 And she wrote this and of course I had to share it with you so with out further ado I reblog :

Bucket List for Couples {9 Things Every Couple Must Do}

A couples relationship should be filled with experiences that create wonderful memories, bring them closer together and non-verbally say "I love you". Here are nine ways to start designing your life together.
1. Couples Massage
A couples massage is one of the hottest treatments at luxury spas all over the world. What could be more romantic than lying side-by-side with your significant other in the most relaxing environment?
2. Write a Love Letter
Let's bring it back to old school; the days where letters were handwritten, sealed with a kiss and mailed at the post office. Love letters are a physical memory that will last a lifetime.
3.Cook Dinner Together
Food and romance have be linked throughout history, mix in some intriguing conversation and you have the best date night ever. The dishes that you create on this night will become a significant part of celebrating other events in your lifetime.
3. Have a Picnic
Break out the old picnic basket, pack your favorite bottle of wine, pick a secluded outdoor getaway and create a memory.
4. Stay up all Night, Laughing
There are many reasons that we stay up all night, how many of them include just laughing?
5. Sing a Karaoke Duet
12 years ago, my husband and I sang "Summer Nights" from Grease at a local Karaoke club. Though the musicality left much to be desired and they actually turned the volume down on my microphone, it is an experience that we still talk about.
6. Carve your Names into a Tree
I typically would not recommend defacing a living object, but in the name of Bucket Lists I will have to break this rule.
7. Dress up for Halloween
Fairy tales can come true, at least on Halloween. What could bring a couple closer together than looking completely ridiculous as a team?
8. Kiss on Top of the Ferris Wheel
Some of the most romantic movies feature a smooch on the tippy-top of the Ferris Wheel.
9. Watch the sunset & rise in one day
You might be able to complete this one as well as, #3 {Have a Picnic} & #4 {Stay Up All Night, Laughing} all in one day! Now that's the ultimate in multi-tasking.
Annette with her honey

Hope it inspired you as it did me.
I love #4 have to try it

Friday, October 8, 2010

Do you fight good?

As in any relationship my husband and I have been having some ups and some downs.
Recently we have been more down than up but that is how it is sometimes right!
Once again we had a spat.
One that has me annoyed, so annoyed that I am committing one of the grievious sins of marital bliss.
I am not talking.
I have actually been SILENT for a week.
YES I know I am being passive aggressive,
sigh but I know if I talk I may not like what comes out of my mouth
because I am still working on how I deliver my words so that they build up rather than break down. Need lots of work!

Right now however we are employing something that Corey of a Simple Marriage calls Unfair Fighting.
Hmmm yeah we do not fight fair the past always creeps in and then we get grumpy. Corey says this about unfair fighting:
Unfair fighting. While disagreements and arguments are bound to happen, it’s vital to stay on topic in the discussion. Bringing up all your partner’s faults and failings doesn’t help the situation. Neither does raising your voice. As my grandfather would say, anytime a person raises their voice in a conversation, it’s about power and pride.
 I did some more searching and I found an article on  is  'Quarrelling Healthy in Marriages?'
The last two paragraphs to me is most relevant to this post.. so I will end it with that--

It is dangerous to belittle your partner or mention his weaknesses during a quarrel. In some people’s tantrum, they say things that hurt their mate so much only to regret saying them later. A quarrel is constructive when the partners discuss the issues of disagreement and learn to communicate with each other.

A quarrel should purge your mind of your earlier tensions, resentments, fears and anxieties. No two people can live for years without some problems, conflicts and pains. Therefore quarreling is healthy.

May your weekend be quarrel free but if it isn't be sure to keep it healthy !

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Just wondering...

Free Clipart Images
They say that a girl usually runs off and finds a guy that is unerringly like her father or most unlike her father and then marries him.
And a guy definitely goes seeking his mother!
Did you do that?

I didn't do that I went off and looked for the guy that is the most like my mother and married him.
Well not on purpose it just happened that way.
Isn't that strange? Well I think it is strange
I think it is because I lived with my mother more than with my father.They have been divorced since I was three.

My mother is strong, opinionated, interfering, agrumentative, generous, supportive, giving  and a totally awesome individual.
Just like my husband.
luckily they get along... but the hubbie can only be with her for small amounts of time. LOL

By the way my dad is the sweetest man ever.

The hubster actually found his mother. It is actually quite eerie.
My mother in law and I  kinda look alike, so much so when we go out together and she introduces me as her daughter -in- law, people only hear the daughter part and believe it. She is shorter though and much more chesty .
We also think alike which drives him nutty LOL so when she is around I just let her speak because she would say what I am thinking and he never gets testy with her.

So who did you go looking for when you went looking for you significant other?
Or should I say who did you find?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A piece of the housework pie...

especially weekends,
when the lion's share of the family work falls on me I find myself getting grumbly  and grumpy.
Why can't I just chill?
Why do I have to do the homework? Can't you see that mess that the children are making?
Why can't I get some help over here? Yes you dude the one lounging on the couch vegging on football!
Why do I feel like a single parent?


To combat this grumpiness I have recently started thinking about those women or men who are married to or together with someone in the army and stationed overseas, or to pilots who fly the foreign skies or even doctor, firefighters or policemen.

These men/women are very rarely home and I could be wrong but I feel that their significant others wouldn't waste their time grumbling about the share of work once their hubbies were home.

My brother-in-law is a commercial pilot and I know his wife doesn't grumble she just gets it done... because at the end of it all the time they have together is so much more important.
I wonder if I could be so even about doing everything like a single parent but not really.

So I remind myself of these people on those days that I am grumping about feeling like I do all the work and murmuring that if feels as if I was a single parent. Because some people have no choice but to do it all themselves even though they are couple. Oh and now I am thinking about those persons tending to a sick partner as well as keeping the household going! They really have to do it almost alone so I guess i will definitely stop grumping now :)

What coping techniques do you have to keep sane? Or should I say less grumpy?
Does it involve brownies? or cupcakes?

( I know I know the picture of the pie has nothing to do with the post but I just like pumpkin pie!)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Freaky Little Nicole

Well lo and behold
A little depression over Jamaica turned into a full-blown storm named Nicole!
She was scary because she was sneaky
no one really expected her to be anything
a little rain with some gusty winds, 
but she was more!
With the clap of her hands and the flash of her jewellry
she was destructive
she tore down- houses and roofs
she built up- gullies turned into sidewalks
And when she was finished she moved on leaving her groupies behind 
and became a wave and made her way to Miami

The thing about storms and the power outage that ensues it leaves you with lots and lots of time on your hand.
You can't go out because the rains are torrential ( okay just wanted to write that word) very heavy
and you cant watch tv or blog because there are no lights!
So at first the nerves get  frayed and small arguments erupt
but if you lucky you get bored of those and then
woohoo conversations happen and even some listening!
And if you are not exhausted by the sheer stress of the weather and the no lights situation
then some intimacy will definitely occur. See here for examples.


Happy that the rain though still going is not as heavy and that we are getting back to normal and yes we have lights and some water back as well!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Good Morning Sunshine!

It's morning time!
So are you a jump out of bed smiling kinda person
Are you grumpus I really don't like you right now because I need more sleepus?

Honestly I am some where in the middle.
Before you speak to me in the morning I need my cup of tea!
if you speak to me before that I probably wouldn't be grumpy but I will be groggy and will take a loooong time to compute what is being said to me.
The hubbie most morning, however, is a huge ball of prickly.
Whether it be the early rise
his brain just simply busy thinking of his extensive to-do-list... not sure
but he is surely not the best conversationalist in the morning.

And to the groggy mind he can off rather standoffish and curt!

Lucky for him I understand and give him his waking time and by 45 minutes he is his bright shiny self again.
It made me think though of the times when I didn't understand him as good as I do now and my entire day would be ruined by some prickly comment or non comment of his.
Because I would naturally have to give the silent treatment and he being in his own world would easily miss it so the silent treatment and the anger would persist in me and by the end of the day I wouldn't want to see him much less hug him!
Sigh if I only knew then what I know now there would be so much more hugging and less grumpiness on my part LOL.

How are you in the morning?
Do you need your space to wake up and get sorted?
Or do you need conversation and a good cup of coffee to get you going?
Have you ever been so prickly that ouch it hurt?
Has it happen to you?

Saturday, September 25, 2010

It is not that easy...

We watched Date Night recently.
You know the one with Tina Fey and Steve Carell.
It is  funny
It made us laugh
It was a perfect choice for our in-house date night!

After all the laughs and giggles this is what stuck with me... Steve Carell's character told his wife that he wanted to help out but she wouldn't let him and that it wasn't fair that she was annoyed that she had to do everything ( okay so I paraphrase the lines but it went something like that)

How many of us are guilty of this? I know I am.
If I was to ask a show of hands I am sure I would see pretty much the whole room.
For one I know I would love to ask but the time it takes to get the deed done I usually just find it easier to do it myself.

I have read elsewhere that you should learn to 'delegate' to your significant other and just close your eyes to how it is done and just appreciate that it is being done.


Not sure I can do that. I always wonder why if you know what I like and how I like things done then when you are doing it why wouldn't you try to at least match it to the best of your ability such as folding towels.
Don't you like itwhen it is folded in eights and not just rolled into a ball?

I always think it is cool that the hubbie helps with breakfast (usually every blue moon or soon) but I could never ever understand why the original location of the milk, juice, ice and hot chocolate is so quickly forgotten by him. And gee knives perched on the toaster oven is an usual occurrence.

I guess what I am getting at is this why couldn't it be a case where the hubbie really does it the way it should be not just some hurried ...well you know I am doing you a favour kind of way.
Hey we have to learn his idiosyncracies?

What do you think about that?
Are you able to just close your eyes and share the tasks?
Is it you that needs to get with his program?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I got an award :)

I am beyond ecstatic about getting my first blogger award ever.
Doing a happy dance

Especially after my last post it warmed my heart  to receive the Versatile Blogger Award from Silent Chatter.  :D

The rules for winning this award are as follows:

* Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
* Share 7 things about yourself.
* Pass the award along to 15 other bloggers who you recently discovered and think are fabulous.
* Contact the bloggers you chose and let them know about the award.

So thank you thank you Silent Chatter for making my day and for your informative blog.

7 things about me hmmm:
  1. In February 2011 I would be married 12 years.
  2. I very rarely blog about being a parent to a child with autism or for that matter the trial of being a mother of twins and as such four children.
  3. I do think I am addicted to blogging and tweeting. (she shakes her head LOL)
  4. I think I despise homework more than my children do. 
  5. I love baking and I especially love cupcakes.
  6. My children are my world
  7. I am so thankful that God created technology :) because it allows me to speak to my sisters and my mother as often as I please even though I live a few thousand miles away from them

I give this award to:

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I see it one way ... How do you see it again?

What a heated discussion we had this weekend!
And it was all centered around a locker room that neither of us have ever been.

As I have mentioned before communication is not our strongest point, well neither is our ability to have a discussion. It always leads to an argument.

Well maybe I should give a little back ground into the people that are my husband and me.
My hubbie is mostly neanderthal* with a little bit of 1980's slapped in there some where and a whole lot of locker room mentality. And I am a bra burning feminist woman can do anything man can do girlie..well without the bra burning ( I happen to love wearing a bra and the lift it gives hahaha) and I am kinda girlie.

It is no wonder we lock horns more time than not.
And what was the topic you are probably wondering... it was about the Mexican TV reporter Ines Sainz that has been causing quite a stir in sports media lately.

He said : "Are you seeing what she's wearing?!" while pointing at the screen
"those jeans are skin tight it is as if they were painted on!"
"And all that cleavage showing" ( well he said out of door but that is Jamaican lingo)
 "She look for what she got... she was looking for trouble imagine that is how she went  to work!"
Scrowl on face

I said: " What does her outfit have to do with the fact that the players were dropping their towels and heckling her. It shows a total lack of professionalism on their side"
Even if she was dressed inappropriately it still doesn't excuse how the players behaved!"

He said " This woman equality nonsense that you women won is foolishness! Look what it got you why is she even in the male locker room"
Those jeans were skin tight"

I said: "what does her outfit have to do with fact that they should have acted better!"

He said: "See this is why i don't like talking to you!"
Scrowl on face

I said: HUH
What did i say?!
silent treatment for half an hour LOL

I always forget that many times my hubbie would just like to be RIGHT. But seeing that I am ALWAYS RIGHT we have issues!
I have a hard time agreeing with something that goes against my thinking... but honestly why not who cares if Ines jeans were too tight or not ( She is Latin and you know they turn up the sex button at every chance)
Reality is I don't think that any interviews should be happening in any locker room anytime whether it is done by a male or a female. I just had to stick in my point that's all.

Corey from Simple Marriage has an interesting points on communication that to me ties in with this post give it a read.

What are your views on this silly discussion!

Do you think she looked for her treatment?
Do you think the men in their lockers should have been less meat head?
How about talking and not arguing is that possible?

*Oh and how could I forget my sweet, generous spirit husband is not really a neanderthal. He only gets that title when he beats his chest and goes UGh and that fortunately happens very rarely :D

Friday, September 10, 2010


Gee when I started this blog my intention was to blog every day!
Using this format as a way to organize my thoughts and kick-start my dream to write!
And I mean really write :)

And i did in the beginning.
I purposely kept the blog clean. Free from pictures, fancy type, clutter!

Every day I posted something and then it was every other day, then twice a week and now it seems to be once a week MAYBE lol

Somewhere along the way the purpose of this blog got sidetracked and I started to fret about readers, the design, comments or the lack there of, feedbacks
and this led me on a quest to make my blog better so that I would have more readers, comments and followers so forth.

I joined a fabulous community - Blogfrog and got sidetracked with commenting there and visiting all those wonderful blogs and commenting everywhere. I love stomping all through people's blogs and commenting.. can't help my self it is addictive :)

But still very little visits or comments to my space- felt depressed

And then I did the #31 DBB challenge... okay started but had to give up because it was summer and honestly it was overwhelming to me. Needing to attention my children had to take precedent over this blog.

It also didn't help that all of a sudden I couldn't get the words out of my brain.
AND my beloved hubbie the muse of this blog was pissing me off so royally that even my good words were not working. That passed though Phew!

Well school is back in session and
I pledged to discipline myself with my blogtrotting and as Nike says JUST DO IT :)

So with a renewed desire I am back to my blogging because though I don't have many comments I realized that I do have some friends who do check in on me and comment from time to time. So I will fret no more and continue to enjoy sharing what i have learned and am learning.

So what have you been up to?
Have you been melting down like me?
Or have you been enjoying life and blogging as you should?

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Happy Weekend

Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.
-- Erma Bombeck

Don't you just love Erma :)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Saturday, August 28, 2010


I have to admit is not our strong suit as a couple.
To be honest sometimes I feel that just the mere opening of my mouth causes frustration to my husband.. poor thing.
I have lots of Edith Bunker moments where I know I am right but my Archie husband has questioned me or shut me up and left me doubting myself and my point.
I must say we are working at it though but I guess it takes time. And it is over 12 years of fuzzy communication that we have to overcome after all.

Yesterday I found myself repeating over and over I will not take offense I will not take offense. I got over myself giggled and then it worked LOL.

But it made me think of the television couples that we have been exposed to over the years (well showing my age here the ones that I have been exposed to )
We have Edith and Archie Bunker- She was the epitome of the submissive wife
Then there is the Harts from Hart to Hart- To me they were the equally balanced wonderfully adoring couple.And of course what about the Bundys in Married with Children. Dysfunctional but they stayed together.
Have you ever wondered which couple you are most similar to?
Well so far I know that we are like Archie and Edith gee I even have her squeaky voice.
Aiming for Hart to Hart- money wise unattainable...for now. But couple wise I think they were cool. I also like Roseanne they may have been crass and loud but they talked and loved each other and their children. Yeah maybe we can be like Roseanne!
Which tv couple do you think you are most like? .. curious to see what you choose.
Happy Weekend by the way

Monday, August 23, 2010

Surround yourself with happiness

Happiness is waking up to a bed full of children
as you are holding your hubbies hand!

Well to me anyway.
Recently I have been enamored with the picture of my friend and his wife.
She is looking adoringly up at him .... and they have two children. She also speaks lovingly and adoringly of him too and after two children.

I was so not adoring after my two children were born it seemed that all his/our faults were glaringly highlighted after the children's arrival like a very ripe pimple on your forehead the night of the prom.

I am always kind of jealous of women and men who continuously talk gushingly about how absolutely awesome their spouses are.

To be honest it kind of makes me feel like a heel because more time than not I am not gushing adoring about my hubbie because most days he gets under my skin and I am just plain pissed at him. And I am not the most affectionate person whether through words or gestures. Not saying that I am not loving just not mushy or huggy. (I have sensory issues she says smiling)

Of course it is all about attitude as seen in the new to me blog called "Gwen in Love" her post 'Good Intentions' states Your marriage will be so peaceful and happy if you live by the belief that you would never do anything to intentionally hurt your spouse. So true.

In the post she states that instead of getting all bitter and seeing the negative side of your significant other actions it would do you both good if you have a more positive outlook on the action.
Like instead of getting royally pissed that your husband keeps calling you when you are out with the girls because clearly he is checking up on you because he thinks you are up to no good... why not consider that he is worried about you driving home so late by yourself. Now this view has him as thoughtful and caring (by the way this works for guys as well).

Oh and also as this article at says it's best 'If you want to improve your relationship with your spouse, surround yourself with people in successful relationships.'
Can't argue with that!

So when you are feeling that you need to add a little adoration in your day, you should pull out your list of good words about your significant other and then give them a hug.

What is your idea of happiness?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Newlywed Game and the Sunday Newspaper

As much as we fight it... we watch way too much television.
And the popular programme of choice that we both can watch together is usually something reality or game related.
Recently we were watching the Newlywed Game (I blame my mother she is a game show network fanatic) :

One of the question asked was 'Which part of the Sunday Newspaper does your wife reach for?' And while I was thinking the comics of course...
the hubbie was saying 'Well the Style and Career section of course'

Can you guess who was right?!

Drumroll please.....

The hubster
Can you believe it.
I was shocked of course he was right he did know me better than I thought.

Growing up and into college the comics, then the entertainment /fashion section was my favourite read but over the last few years I do instinctively reach for the sections that he said after glancing at the front page headlines.
If we were on the game and this was the deciding question we will have lost the game because I would have answered incorrectly lol.
I think every couple should watch a game or two of the Newlywed Game...
yes it is a silly show and the contestants even sillier, but the questions asked sometimes are genius in their ability to foster communication and to add to your interesting couples only trivia facts.

Surprising at it may be when you least expect it your significant other just may be paying attention and may know you better than you think.
I say test it and see what comes out of it! You just may learn something you didn't know!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

100 ok maybe 85 things

During one of my blog walks I came across a blog I used to read
and she put together a life list that was pretty cool and made me think that I should do one too.
Well I hit the big 40 recently so yeah I definitely think it is a good idea.

so here we go
100 things I would like to do before I met my Master :)
in no particular order

1.) Hug a kaola bear
2) See if kangaroos really can be taught how to box
3.) Yeah I want to visit Australia and go walkabout for a few days circa Crocodile Dundee
4.) Take a pastry and cake decorating course
5.) Icing an entire wedding cake
6.) Write a How to Survive Autism in Jamaica guide
7.) Publish and distribute the guide
8.) learn to be organized
9.) Consistently reach to all events on time
10.) Beat procrastination
11.) Really learn to converse in Spanish
12.) Live somewhere else not Caribbean for three months or there abouts
13.) Wear red at a World Cup that Trinidad and Tobago is playing--- in maybe 2014? :)
14.) Be at the next World Cup
15.) Master the art of cupcake making
16.) Have my own successful greeting card and wedding invitation business
17.) Witness my son graduate from college with honours (yup that's right)
18.) Dance and be happy at all four children's weddings :)
19.) Learn to dance the flamenco
20.) and the salsa
21.) Learn to make a good salsa LOL
22.) Learn to make doubles and have them taste just like they do on the side of the road
23.) Write and publish three books
24.) See the light when taking photographs... it is the difference between taking just alright pictures and exceptional pictures
25.) Assist in a project to take the children off the streets in Jamaica
26.) Assist in the realizing and building of community homes for Young adults on the Autism Spectrum with the purpose of promoting independence
27.) Then spread it around the other Caribbean islands
28.) Grow my hair long enough to go into a french braid
29.) Change my hair colour at least once..a slightly outrageous colour might be nice.
30.) Move back to Trinidad to live
31.) Go on a speech free religious retreat
32.) Walk through a maze
33.) Really learn how to meditate
34.) Illustrate five children books
35.) Or find an illustrator
36.) Walk the red carpet-Oscar or Emmy with my sister in law
37.) Renovate and reconstruct the Gibson dr. house
38.) Have a functioning savings system and savings account
39.) Drink a glass of wine watching the sunset in Tuscany
40.) Sail on a yacht through the Greek Isles
41.) Party in Ibiza
42.) Climb the steps to the Statute Of Jesus in Rio Janiero
43.) While in Rio need to take in the 2nd best Carnival in the world :)
44.) Read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation ( and understand it)
45.) Eat a hot dog by the sidewalk in New York
46.) Ride a camel in Abu Dhabi (while visiting the recently transplanted in-laws)
47.) Sit in the audience of Oprah Winfrey's show (I only have a year to make this happen)
48.) make a lei in one of the Hawaii islands
49.) Learn to surf with my son
50.) buy a drum set for the children
51.) Buy ear plugs for me and my husband
52.) Introduce the children to soca music
53.) Introduce the children to the culture, the flavour and the tempo that is Trinidad and Tobago
54.) Be credit free
55.) Buy my mother the house of her dreams
56.) Learn to listen and hear what the people I love are saying
57.) Encourage my children to be the best that they can be
58.) Visit Alaska in the summer
59.) make Christmas pudding (Jamaican style)
60.) drink a glass of Ponche de Creme that I made
61.) Drive to Montego Bay with my husband in the passenger seat
62.) meet one or two of my blogging friends in person
63.) Watch the eldest daughter do gymnastics without my heart being stuck in my throat
64.) Be published
65.) Be happy
66.) start painting again
67.) achieve contentment
66.) paint a mini playhouse made out of cardboard with the older children
67.) make exercise a regular part of my daily routine
68.) do a head stand
69.) then do it again
70.) go to the top of Blue Mountain
71.) Pat a dolphin
72.) Then decide if I need to swim with one
73.) be on the flower committee in Church ;)
74.) Learn to make a kite old school style
75.) Teach the children how to make one
76.) Then actually get them all to fly high in the sky
77.) Explore all ends of Jamaica and share with the children
78.) Document this experience
79.) Play a game of scrabble with my Grandmother before she passes
80.) Run my own glossy magazine-hopefully fashion but possibly people
81.) Re-learn to play the violin
82.) Extract my impacted molar-finally
83.) Strum a tune on the Guitar after I learn how
84.) Own an honest to goodness film needing SLR
85.) Then get a Digital SLR with zoom and macro lens :)
86.) Have a bonafide High tea party with scones, cupcakes, cucumber sandwiches pearls and real tea with my girls
87.) Have a breakfast of strawberries and cream in bed in Paris in 2014
88.) Dress up fancy and go to an on Broadway play
89.) Then go to an off- Broadway play ;p
90.) sit next to the Dalai Lama
91.) Go on a cruise to anywhere with my mother and my sisters ( children optional)
92.) Learn to really hear the voice of my Lord (again)

Okay so I can't make it to 100 I felt like I was forcing it. I have been writing this list since July and I can only get this much But I think 85 is good too. Hoping to get all of this done.
Now going to share with my hubbie! (ok so I tweaked it since and now we have 91)

Have you ever thought of making a life list or inspiration list or bucket list? Of course it doesn't have to be 100 long it could be shorter see here
What would it look like?
Would you share it with your significant other

I think it would be a great way to bond! What say you?!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Happy Birthday to me

It's my birthday so have a drink of your choosing ....
it could be tea
and sing Happy Birthday to me

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Roles and expectations

Recently I overheard a not yet married friend of mine say that he was becoming more cave-like in his thinking.
He went on further to explain that if it was expected of him to be the hero at the roadside fixing a flat, or the car,
the one that puts out the garbage and mows the lawn
the one that gets the roach and lifts the heavy suitcase or couch
then it can not be wrong of him to expect a clean house and a hot cooked meal when he gets home without any grumbling or grimacing.
My friend Hope says pretty much the same thing in her blog post here.

And neither of them are wrong
as I told my hubbie when discussing the first statement

These expectations need to discussed before hand.

The first fight/disagreement my hubbie and I ever had when we first started dating was his expectation of me cooking for him every day ...I laughed at that because hey we were in college and hey I couldn't cook anything other than Ramen noodles and broccoli or Kraft macaroni and cheese with canned tuna. And why would I cook for him we were not even living together yet. Mind you after this disagreement I knew what he expected.

It shouldn't be the result of an argument that you a find out what your significant other wants and needs.

It should come up in discussion before you move into together. Because suppose you are expecting your girlfriend/wife to cook you that hot meal everyday BUT she works too and can't find the time, OR she can't cook to save her life and even water is not safe with her then what are you going to be pissed with her forever. i hope not.
Or alternatively suppose the male of the couple is the cook and wants to be the main meal provider and you are like hello no way this is my kitchen then what happens then.

Giggle I have encountered both situations.

The non -cooking woman ... my aunt actually learned how to cook after she got married to feed the children ok and her hubbie, but also she keeps a stack of take-out menus for the three days that she doesn't cook.
The hubbie that wanted to handle the cooking well his wife eventually said cool the kitchen is yours on these days.

Anyway I got carried away with the cooking topic
So how will your significant other know that you are not expecting him
to fix your car (there are mechanics for that)
or kill the roach (roaches just do not frighten you)
you need a clean house too but you expect the tasks to be shared 50/50 and cooking... well that is a different story
if you don't speak about it.
I think you may be in for a bumpy ride if you don't.

Well maybe not bumpy but definitely interesting.

What do you think?
Would it have been easier knowing what your role was in the marriage?
The questions to start off could be as simple as:
Can you cook? Do you expect three hot meals a day?
How about take-out?
Do you know the number of the AA guy?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

But I don't like it Hmmm...

Recently I received a gift from an old friend that I just didn't think was me
And I know that she must have said it is all me I could just hear her say "WooHoo this looks like Gayle!"
So I am stuck with the task of saying sorry but no cigar. In the nicest possible I will not hurt your feelings way.

Which made me think...
when we get a gift from a significant other do we do the same thing try to shield their feelings or are we more direct.

My mother was famous for telling my stepfather off if he got her something that didn't fit or that wasn't her style. Or worse she would simply say nothing and would re-gift it almost immediately to the first person that walked through the door. He started to take here with him when he shopped for her.
My hubbie is like her he doesn't mince words and that is why I don't buy him any gifts. Unless he has said it a few times that he wants it and or he goes with me to get it.

Me on the other hand I would sugar coat my dislike and would actually use the gift once or twice because the way I see it if someone has made the effort to get me a gift then I should appreciate just that.

Which way is better being direct and showing your displeasure in your gift or should you soften your dislike and just say thank you?
Or should you drop hints and make a list thus making the need for guesswork less?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

It is your decision choose it!

One of the most profound things that you can decide to do in your marriage is:

To decide to stay married!

It is a big part of your vows isn't.
Yes that part where it says through thick or thin, sickness and health. 'Til death do us part!

But for so many of us we act as we if forget this.
We even go so far as thinking that divorce is inevitable so lets plan for it before we even get married. Yes I am talking prenup and though most think that this is something that only the super rich or uber famous indulge in if you are honest with yourself you would see that you may have walked into your marriage with a list of if he does this then I am gone and if he does that well I will be so gone... well I did anyway.

And then one day I realized that it was silly just like I was never one of those girlfriends that mentioned breaking up unless I was serious and it was the end. There was no way that I was going to play around with the notion of divorce without a fight I was going to stay married despite the annoying toothpaste tube being left uncovered or even his even more annoying habit of not calling when he knows he is going to be late. Or worse!

This is why I started to piece together my thoughts in this blog because it struck me that instead of planning for a divorce we should write up all the things that we would like to see to make the marriage work.

Three key things that I keep seeing over and over and what I have also experienced for myself that every marriage needs are:

1) You have to communicate with each other.. if you don't talk to each other than it can lead to assumptions, misunderstanding and stagnation. And remember communication also means listening to each other

2) Touch each other.. make time to be intimate (sex is good but not what I am talking about here)


3) Decide to stay married! and keep working at it.

She says what I am thinking and have said. my new favourite read and inspiration.

Have you decided to stay married or are you biding your time?

For the next month I will be joining SITS (The Secret Is In The Sauce) in 31 Days To Build a Better Blog (#31DBBB) in conjunction with ProBlogger Each day is a new task to post to help me focus and make this a better blog. I am a bit behind so don't be surprise if I do two or more task in a post in attempts to catch up.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Over time.

My husband is a Food Network fanatic!

And it is my fault!

I am a huge fan of FoodNetwork and the television is stuck on either this channel or HGTV.
Since he wouldn't be caught dead watching HGTV (his words not mine) invariably I would switch it over to Food Network and we watch some cooking. So overtime he has been won over and now he is always on the channel or spouting something that Guy from 'Diner, Drive-ins and Dives' just mentioned. This is cool though it does highlight my lack of skill in the cooking department. giggle.

This made me realize that it is possible that even though in the beginning you may think you have nothing in common with your significant other than your love for each other that you will all of a sudden find that you do have one or two things in common.

And frankly if what ever it is gives you some together time then woohoo things are looking up.

Here is a link to a thought provoking post I read recently that speaks to compromising in marriage I am not sure I agree with most of what he said but it did make me think. Read it and see what you get from it.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Call me....

with the many numerous ways that we can stay connected.
Why is it that it is still so hard to receive a little phone call, text, email stating simply

I'm running late!

Sigh don't they know (your significant other) that you start to think all manners of possible ways that they may be...
laying in a ditch
wrapped around a pole
being held up by knife/gun point
you name it I am sure it crossed your mind

just after the possible thought of ...
oh that rat he is hanging out the boys again
yikes I knew that girl at work was too flirty
briefly flickers through and gets dismissed.

I think it should be a mandatory understanding that if you are running late or you plan to be late that you communicate this fact .
BUT I know it doesn't always happen.
This is what I would write in the manual:

I EXPECT a phone call whether you are late drinking with the boys or late because of work! And i promise to do the same!
What say you?!

Monday, July 5, 2010

I bet you knew this!

men who wash the dishes have more sex, The more men contribute to the domestic chores, the more active their sex life is with their wives.

Read More

Well seeing that this is a big issue of mine naturally I was drawn to this article on ivillage. There were so many interesting pointers and all that screamed out at me after the headline of course is that line 'men who wash the dishes have more sex.'

I couldn't agree more and those that help with breakfast too :)

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

We are not a good team...

Well not in the sense of the word we are not!
Oh giggle... I am talking about my husband and me.

We do not work well together.
Why is that? you may be asking

It is because we are both bossy.
We both want to lead
We both need to be calling the shots
We both want to be the BOSS!
And this has lead to many a heated arguments over the years.

We tried working together in a business but he wanted to be the boss and I thought we should be equal partners so that did not work..... and we didn't speak more than two sentences to each other for a month! Oops

So now you find I step back and let him do what he is doing whether it be putting in a light bulb,
photoshopping an image (I am a graphic designer when I am not a STAHM) or cooking.
And he does the same.

Strangely though even though we may not work together well... he is the one person I would pick first if I was in a crisis situation like an accident, plane crash or something of that like. And he is the only person that I would have with me in a delivery room (been there twice). My normally excitable, indecisively annoying, incredibly opinionated hubbie becames the epitome of calm, decisiveness and organisedness ( I couldn't think of the correct word). hmmm who knew

So my point to this entry is that even though we may not work good together, we can work good together if we keep our egos in check!

And to prove this point today we made breakfast
in the same kitchen
on the same stove
using the same utensils
it was good, fun and easy
who knew that we could do it, but we did
Time happens I guess.. if you let it.

No question just sharing

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Things You Shouldn’t Do….

Loving this post from Hope who's blog hopelesslycrushingonyou chronicles her crush on a guy
so I just had to share with you simply because it kind of says what I have been saying through out this blog and the name of the post is similar to the name of this blog LOL

You shouldn’t open your eyes in the morning and not see me.

You shouldn’t get out of bed before we make love

You shouldn’t leave without kissing me goodbye

You shouldn’t have to go all day without talking to me

You shouldn’t look at your desk and not see a picture of us

You shouldn’t come home from work and think about work

You shouldn’t have to worry if I care about how your day went

You shouldn’t have to watch that movie alone

You shouldn’t have dinner alone

You shouldn’t have to wonder if its ok to call me

You shouldn’t have to hang up when were done talking, I should be there

read the rest here

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Just 10 minutes...

I realize that at times it may be hard to really notice your significant other.

Work gets in the way
The children and all the responsibilities get in the way
making of dinner
paying the bills
road rage
laundry rage
computer time
stupid argument over toothpaste
you fill in your distraction
it gets in the way

It is all too easy for the day to pass and you haven't really spoken to your spouse other than to grumble good morning or hello.
But it is important that you schedule a minimum of 10 minutes a day to connect.
To talk about your day, to see each other.... to share a touch, a kiss even
It could be just before you go to bed or first thing as you wake but without that time for connection then you can easily fall into simply being roommates.

When is our ten minutes... the ten minutes before I go to bed ( hubbie usually stays up later bonding with the computer.)

When would our special talking time be?

Thursday, June 24, 2010

It's not all about you!

Another post from that 'a Cup of Jo' marriage series says a key to a good marriage is trying your best to focus on what your significant other needs you to be to him, instead of what you want him to be to you.

This is such great advice


Do you know how hard this is?!
Thinking about your husband/wife first and not yourself.
In this the it's all about ME, self gratifying time we are living in.
Lets face it...ridiculously hard LOL because I don't know about you I am self centered!

However if we can at least attempt to attain just a little of shift in focus to your spouse and not the almighty 'me' 'I ' then we may open up a door of possible happiness and peace.

Borrowing a quote from the post
"Love your other how they need to be loved, not how you need to be."

Try it! what is the worst that could happen....
your significant other may like it
...or worse yet you may!

(oh I have actually been working on this myself and I can attest that thinking of what the hubbie needs before what I need is not all that bad)

I didn't have my cup of tea this morning

It was on the grocery list that was given to the hubbie
he said it wasn't a priority the box of tea so he bought ramen noodles instead

You see my hubbie has no addiction to any early morning pick me ups so he laughs at my need for tea even though I have showed him countless research about the benefits of tea.. antioxidants and all that. The fact that I lace mine with condense milk and sugar is a minor deviation.

I have a cup of tea every morning before I say hello to anyone,
before I notice the sky whether it be grey, cloudy or sparkly blue

It is a priority to me...
without my cup of tea I am
like a lazy, energy less sloth that can barely manage out of bed much less get the children up and ready for school!

Oh well maybe I needed a break from caffeine and I will just have to curl up with the girls when they sleep because boy do I feel to SLEEP.

I was reading an older post from one of my daily reads by Joanna Goddard of a Cup of Jo and she did a series last year on the secrets to a happy marriage.

This post about Joslyn really stuck with me.
Her husband made her coffee every day, it reminded me of my mother and my stepfather...whose marriage can by no means be classified as happy or perfect, BUT the most positive thing that my mother would say of it was that my step-father made her a perfect cup of tea every morning with out fail before he went off to work. She would remember this wistfully and sigh.

It is the little things that soothe the soul and make you feel that glow of happy and contentment with your chosen other.

There are no questions to ask for the manual just a statement LOL


What are your little priorities? Ok so I had to ask