Unsolicited Advice

Well so much for my New Years goal of visiting and continuing the conversation here. Still going to try for more often if not every week as I planned.


Recently I gave a newlywed friend some unsolicited advice.
Yes I know it is supposed to be rude dishing out unsolicited advice but you must know I love to do it, goodness this entire blog is about unsolicited advice!
It was two nuggets actually.

The first was communication of course I am like a broken record with that one.

Talk and listen.
Talk to each other about things every day. In the link I have linked to from O magazine (I am a big big fan) it suggests talking 10 minutes a day about something that is not related to work, children or dogs just like you would have if you were still dating. It is actually a great tip to remember because those little conversations remind you and your significant other that you are person and not only mother or wife.

And the other ( I literally ran behind her to tell her this one :))
Touch
Remember to touch each other, sit close together when watching tv., hold hands for a few minutes don't allow yourselves to become ships passing in the halls. This was reinforced by the O magazine article that I read about touching and the healthy benefits it has on us human beings. Touching makes us happier. Now I am not saying that you give into any X rated PDA and also not about sex, though if it leads to that woohoo, but taking time to touch each other and be with each other keeps you close literally.


Click on thise and see what I mean
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Habits-Of-Happy-Couples-Happy-Couples-Secrets/3

Also a friend posted this link on Facebook and  I had to share it here as well! It is a man's view of  how to make it work. Marriage that is. It really is all in the mindset.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/3-things-i-wish-i-knew-we-got-married

Hope you are having a great week!
And are you touching enough?

A Positive light

The shower head broke in our bathroom and water spewed all over the room.
so to have a shower the husband removed the shower head and the water flowed straight from the pipe.
I thought it very inconvenient. BUT
My daughter jumped into the shower and exclaimed with delight … "I am bathing in a fountain YAY!!”
and you know when it was my turn I couldn’t help but giggle because I honestly didn’t see a busted shower anymore but a fountain. LOL

Have a great weekend. And try to see the positive side!

It is strange how things happen.
Take this pumpkin for example.
The vine where it originated was two houses away, which would make it my neighbour's neighbour house. The vine appeared to literally float thru the air never making contact or attaching to anything in my immediate neighbour's yard to take up residence in my back yard. A really amazing occurrence don't think. It sat in my yard as if it was always intended for that spot.
Doesn't it make you think of what happens when you meet that significant someone.
For whatever reason it is never who you think it would be who really catches your fancy.

It's February the month of Love *giggle* and for the first time since I started this blog I haven't felt the zeal to actually publish a post. Oh I have ideas but my problem is squeezing in time to get it done. Sigh! This February 14th meant 14years that the hubster and I have been married. Pretty cool if you ask me.
And just like the pumpkin it seemed like a wind, albeit a strong breeze, was the cause of getting us together and growing a relationship which blossomed into a marriage.
 
I didn't have my friends take part in my AHA series this year but I decided that this affords us the opportunity to revisit the wonderful women who indulged my quest to share in that magical moment when they just knew that they had met 'the One'.
http://ishouldnthavetosay.blogspot.com/2012_02_01_archive.html

Also love this post from Thought Catalog- 15 Signs You're in Love thought I would share it just in case you were wondering.

Have a great weekend all!

Say it loud

I happened upon a friend's words of joy about the birth of his new son and the love for his wife and I was reminded again recently how important words are in a relationship... especially good positive words.

'My son may look like me but it is my wife who made him perfect.' 

It was just a simple line but from it I am sure everyone saw how in love he was with his wife.

I follow a fellow Trini on tumblr for that same reason he always always speaks of his wife with reverence and unabashed love and dear I say desire.
I like hearing men and women gush about their significant others especially those couples that have been together for years.

I wrote a post awhile back (can you believe almost three years ago!!!)  about never talking bad about your significant other to other persons and I want to go one further and these two guys reminded me about it big time.
Click to peruse the use of good words.

January is almost over can you believe. January is always a busy time for me because it comes right after Christmas (no duh), school starts back and then my two eldest have birthdays. Over the last week I have been celebrating their births... time is flying so fast. They are both now respectively  12 and 10 ((sob)) and in the spirit of speaking good words I have to say I have been blessed with a great father for all these children. It is a joy to see them all interact. I did make a good choice.

So signing off by saying remember to keep your words positive. Saying them over and over makes them a continuing reality.
And lastly Happy Birthday to my sweeties.

Reflecting on the past year

Wow has it really been 3 months since my last post? Geez! Here is a little of what I was up to...

2012 is over and strangely enough I am happy to see it done.

The year had a very tragic film over it...
It seemed someone that I knew or used to know died every minute of 2012.
And that doesn't include all the famous people of my age that are no more.
There were huge family outbursts and possibly irreparable damage done there.
The reality of our family dynamic is scary to think of... hmmm.
There were too many trips to the hospital and the inevitable ugly side of the aging process reared it's head too many times this year. To put it bluntly I have been sitting anxious all year wondering if that out of the ordinary phone call is bringing bad news of sickness or death.
Money just seemed tight all year.
Oh and that terrible Sandy hurricane that wasn't so bad for us personally but damage New York and other places like Cuba, Haiti and in Jamaica as well

BUT....

If I really look at the year and put aside what I mentioned before I have to say it was a good year
I made three trips back to my home land Trinidad... three trips is just unprecedented for me. (Thank God my sister works with an airline:D ) I get so much family love when I go home.
2 of my little cousins got married in the 2012 and I was so happy to able to be there and witness their happiness.
Talking about family my house was full of family ... and friends visiting. My little nephews stayed with us for 3 weeks wow!  My Dad visited for 3 weeks as well. At one point I had 14 persons sleeping under my roof.
My mother-in-law gifted us with a new kitchen  a new stove and kitchen cabinet refaced. It is so pretty who says things can make you happy. My kitchen makes me smile every morning :D
After 4 years we finally have a new car... that fits us all and a guest yay!! Well it is a new to us car but who cares if it is used it makes us happy. LOL
The hubbie and I are closer than we have been in a long while so the family unit is tight
and after all the anxiety I am happy to report that my father, his father, my mother and his mother are alive and well and also so is my Grandmother who celebrated her 94th birthday in 2012.
And all my kiddies are happy and healthy growing so fast and joy of joys I started back painting. wish me luck in keeping it up in 2013
I guess if you stop focusing on the negative long enough you would be able to see that the positives no matter how small will always outweigh the negatives.
So I have to say Thank you and good bye 2012 and with God by my side ( okay carrying me along)

I embrace 2013 and look forward to whatever may come.

Happy New Year to you all!

I don't make New Year's resolutions but I do have certain goals and challenges that I have set for this year. No pressure though. I do hope to be writing/blogging more this year so I do plan to visit here more in 2013. I am challenging myself to paint something everyday... missed today though but not fretting tomorrow I'll just do 2 small ones LOL.
hope all is well with you all :D
What goals have you set? 
Do you have a plan laid out for the year? is it one that you share with your significant other?

A jug of juice

There is a certain amount of cheekiness that I guess all young people have when taking advice from older people.

For all of my pre-teen into teen years my Grandmother would give me little tips on being a wife. Most of them had to do with cleaning and though I still don't like to clean when I do I sure now how to do it right.

She kept insisting that I learn how to make juice.
Juice, in Trinidadian talk-where I am from, is usually a concentrate from a can mixed with water and sugar... lots of sugar. I could never get the mix right even if I was using something like Kool-Aid which you really shouldn't  get it wrong because the instruction is clearly stated on the back.
So my response to her was always :
'Grannie I am not worried about juice if the man wants juice he will make his own.'
To which she would reply ' Hmmph no man will marry you if you can't make juice!' and she would poke me goodnaturedly and we would let it die until the next time.
She has been dead now for well over 18 years and I still can't make juice.

I was reminded of our conversations a few weeks ago when I watched my husband very happily putting together his own concoction for me to taste, coincidentally on the anniversary of her burial, and it hit me that she wasn't talking about juice at all.

She wanted me to know that it is the little things like juice that help to make your spouse feel special and contribute to your marriage working smoothly.

Don't you agree?


Links that caught my attention:
http://unveiledwife.com/revive-your-friendship-in-marriage/

http://havoc-to-heaven.com/19-ways-to-stay-married-for-19-years/


 I have been attempting to finish this little post for about 2 week maybe 3 weeks now! I don't know what was causing the lack of focus.... hopefully it's gone now. Hope you all have been good.

A lil wedding advice

Well who knew that I would be so delinquent in posting on this space. 
It's not like I didn't have the ideas, I had those, for some reason I just could find the time. But it was summer and with all children home and my nephews added to the fray it I just couldn't find the time to say hello or did I have the mental capacity to think after dealing with 6 children for the summer, needless to say I am singing the praises of having a big yard and plenty bikes to go around. 

My little cousin got married last week and it was a joy to be able to attend the wedding. 

I love weddings,
the promise that they hold,
the love beaming out of the bride and groom and their family friends
and the all out positivity that the day usually prevails.

The fact that everyone is dressed all pretty is also a plus.

This wedding was no different... except it was clear from the beginning that they were going to have fun at their wedding and it was going to be about dancing because they held hands and danced down the aisle to the song of Bob Marley's We're Jammin.

My uncle's speech has been echoing through my mind since the wedding. The love for his daughter was apparent as he recalled all their many firsts, tears came to my eyes.
His advice to them, drawing from his 39 years of marriage to my aunt- yup 39! :-

Pray together,

place God first in your marriage and

never go to sleep, never go to bed angry with each other.

Good advice.

We have problems with the not going to bed angry part. Many nights taking the time to calm down and 'sleeping' on it has actually worked for us.

My advice to the newly married couple adding to what my uncle said would be:

Communication is key... take time and talk to each other and listen to what each other are saying.

Be committed to your marriage - choose to stay married.

& Hold hands often.

black-couple-holding-hands http://bit.ly/hb8seX (via @theFreshXpress)

What would you add?
Hoping to be around more often now that school is back in session.