Thursday, July 22, 2010

It is your decision choose it!

One of the most profound things that you can decide to do in your marriage is:

To decide to stay married!

It is a big part of your vows isn't.
Yes that part where it says through thick or thin, sickness and health. 'Til death do us part!

But for so many of us we act as we if forget this.
We even go so far as thinking that divorce is inevitable so lets plan for it before we even get married. Yes I am talking prenup and though most think that this is something that only the super rich or uber famous indulge in if you are honest with yourself you would see that you may have walked into your marriage with a list of if he does this then I am gone and if he does that well I will be so gone... well I did anyway.

And then one day I realized that it was silly just like I was never one of those girlfriends that mentioned breaking up unless I was serious and it was the end. There was no way that I was going to play around with the notion of divorce without a fight I was going to stay married despite the annoying toothpaste tube being left uncovered or even his even more annoying habit of not calling when he knows he is going to be late. Or worse!

This is why I started to piece together my thoughts in this blog because it struck me that instead of planning for a divorce we should write up all the things that we would like to see to make the marriage work.

Three key things that I keep seeing over and over and what I have also experienced for myself that every marriage needs are:

1) You have to communicate with each other.. if you don't talk to each other than it can lead to assumptions, misunderstanding and stagnation. And remember communication also means listening to each other

2) Touch each other.. make time to be intimate (sex is good but not what I am talking about here)


3) Decide to stay married! and keep working at it.

She says what I am thinking and have said. my new favourite read and inspiration.

Have you decided to stay married or are you biding your time?

For the next month I will be joining SITS (The Secret Is In The Sauce) in 31 Days To Build a Better Blog (#31DBBB) in conjunction with ProBlogger Each day is a new task to post to help me focus and make this a better blog. I am a bit behind so don't be surprise if I do two or more task in a post in attempts to catch up.


  1. so true! love this and am with you 100% percent.

  2. This is very good! I am not yet married, but am learning how to get along with my Dad and brother while I live at home. Definitely not easy, but very good preparation. Voddie Baucham taught about the permanence of marriage and it blew me away, but he always does : )

  3. P.S. If you need a new blog design I may be able to help you out there.

  4. Definitely in it for the long haul, and I agree that often as women we walk into the relationship with the defenses up, just waiting for them to "do us wrong" so we can leave. I think men do the same.

    Here's an article I thought was interesting - 25 tips on how to stay married.


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