Four years ago it hit me that maybe if people had a manual to reference periodically then there would be less fights, misunderstandings and looks of pure fright when an important event is forgotten. And maybe a few relationships would be saved... okay that may be a stretch but it is plausible.
So what happened four years ago to ignite this ephipany?! I turned 36 years... I got up like any other day with my two sweeties, made them breakfast, played a game or two with them they drove me nuttie for a bit and then about mid-day okay 11-ish my husband ambles down the stairs having had a Wonderful sleep-in on my birthday and proceeds to ask whats for breakfast to which I answered sweetly.. okay kiddies join me in singing "Happy birthday to you Mummy...Happy Birthday to you!" If he could spin around any faster he would have given himself a whiplash. The look in his eyes resembled very closely that of a deer stuck in a car headlight. Oh #@#@ he forgot my birthday the expression read!
Giggle luckily for him I know him well and refused to be annoyed on my birthday of all day. Cause he forgets his birthday as well which is two days after mine. To be honest I am not the type of girl that expects you to remember dates or events and being in advertising I believe in giving plenty notice when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries gee I actually got married on Valentines day so that he could never forget that important day.
So there I was on my birthday and not a gift, a card or a smoochy birthday kiss. Sigh feeling a little blue, because i love birthdays.. I expect gifts and balloons, parties, food and friends.. I realized that maybe I never communicated that to my husband not properly. I know that he explicitly doesnt like birthday hoopla and would rather climb a mountain and meditate about the past year and his expectations of the coming year than have a party with lots of fanfare. But did he know whatI expected. Hmmm probably not. I know there are many couples out there that speak and communicate with their significant others and are clear at what is expected of each other, but you know there are just as many who need help. And my husband and I are one of those couples.
Then it hit me if we had it all written down somewhere then it can be looked up and reviewed and maybe I would never have to sing my own birthday song alone again. So I am going to put together a questionnaire/manual/journal that asks the questions that provoke the conversations that hopefully would make life and its events go that much smoother well at least answered.