Friday, October 8, 2010

Do you fight good?

As in any relationship my husband and I have been having some ups and some downs.
Recently we have been more down than up but that is how it is sometimes right!
Once again we had a spat.
One that has me annoyed, so annoyed that I am committing one of the grievious sins of marital bliss.
I am not talking.
I have actually been SILENT for a week.
YES I know I am being passive aggressive,
sigh but I know if I talk I may not like what comes out of my mouth
because I am still working on how I deliver my words so that they build up rather than break down. Need lots of work!

Right now however we are employing something that Corey of a Simple Marriage calls Unfair Fighting.
Hmmm yeah we do not fight fair the past always creeps in and then we get grumpy. Corey says this about unfair fighting:
Unfair fighting. While disagreements and arguments are bound to happen, it’s vital to stay on topic in the discussion. Bringing up all your partner’s faults and failings doesn’t help the situation. Neither does raising your voice. As my grandfather would say, anytime a person raises their voice in a conversation, it’s about power and pride.
 I did some more searching and I found an article on  is  'Quarrelling Healthy in Marriages?'
The last two paragraphs to me is most relevant to this post.. so I will end it with that--

It is dangerous to belittle your partner or mention his weaknesses during a quarrel. In some people’s tantrum, they say things that hurt their mate so much only to regret saying them later. A quarrel is constructive when the partners discuss the issues of disagreement and learn to communicate with each other.

A quarrel should purge your mind of your earlier tensions, resentments, fears and anxieties. No two people can live for years without some problems, conflicts and pains. Therefore quarreling is healthy.

May your weekend be quarrel free but if it isn't be sure to keep it healthy !


  1. Such great advice - I think it's best to wait to say something right than respond immediately with something hurtful.

  2. That is so true and great advice. I am not sure I could pull silence off for a week.

  3. Oh, I hope thing gets better soon. I think it's really important to let your partner know that your silence is because you don't trust yourself not to be hurtful right now. Even in quarrels, we need to treat each other lovingly.

  4. Just stopping by to say I hope things are better this week.


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