Feeling blue...

I am feeling blue!
literally and figuratively!
My computer and mouse turned a queasy shade of blue recently!
And as everyone knows blue is not a good colour for computers.
And no wonder because my hard drive is now DEAD!!
well according to the technicians that worked on it anyway.
SIGH
I had a years worth of pictures on that computer.
Now all gone pouf
So i am feeling blue.



No computer
no pictures
only memories
So it goes.
I guess these things happen.

The marrying age

(squidoo.com)

A friend of mine's little brother got married recently
I was shocked
I instantly thought he was too young to be married
Imagine a young boy like that getting married (28)
too young
I always have this belief that men should be at least 30 when they marry
ensuring that most of the oats are sowed....
and then I paused for moment and did some maths ( I try not to do this very often LOL)
It seemed like ages ago (and it was looking 41 here :s)
but gee if I didn't get married at 29 with my hubbie being 28
yup I am a mini cougar .
So much for my theory.
Have you given any thought about what is a good marrying age ?

Anyways looking at his wedding pictures he is the epitome of being in-love and I thought what a lucky girl
but then you see her and she is just ooozing in-loveness as well.
Newly married love is so sweet to witness.

I have only two, ok three pieces of advice to give to him

3) Always remember to call and say that you are  running late...

2) Remember to spend time with each other if only for 10 minutes every day

1) Kiss Kiss and Kiss some more your sweetie

Let's talk about sex ....

I haven't done this in such a long time... I went blog walking
and I happened about one of my fav blogs again
Gwen in Love
As usual there are a few posts I want to reblog but I especially like
Money, Sex and Happiness and Adding a Little Variety

Yes I know how odd that I am talking about sex as I never do.
Well because in a word I am a prude!
But because I don't talk about it doesn't mean that I don't think that we should all have it and have it often.
As couples we all need to make the effort to not get lost in the day to day drudgery of work, bills, commuting and children and  loss our intimacy. Being intimate, communicating with each other are key elements of long lasting coupledom.... Soooo let's talk about it.

According to WebMD  (the inspiration for Gwen's blog) Dartmouth College economist David Blachflower and Andrew Oswald of the University of Warwick in England report that sex "enters so strongly (and) positively in happiness equations" that they estimate increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by getting an additional $50,000 in income for the average American.

Overall, the happiest folks are those getting the most sex -- married people, who report 30% more between-the-sheets action than single folks. In fact, the economists calculate that a lasting marriage equates to happiness generated by getting an extra $100,000 each year.

Isn't that cool!
Now that you know this would you tumble into bed with your significant other to do more than sleep together? 
Did you ever think there would be a time that sleep would win over sex?

If you think you need help spicing things up in your routine
see the next post from Gwen that has me tickled. Adding a Little Variety
These suggestions are my favourites:

Have secret words so you can imply what you want in front of the kids (e.g. ice cream=sex).
Have a quickie.
Don't wear underwear under your clothing. This may work better-or at least feel more comfortable-with a dress or a skirt.
Have sex with all of the lights on.

Keep eye contact throughout the entire sexual experience- especially during orgasm when you naturally want to close your eyes. This could be one of the most intimate moments you've shared.>> This one though I think I would laugh too much and spoil the mood though laughter is never a bad thing

What say you?

Redbook's Hot Husband 2011

I just had to reblog this article on MSN from Redbook
The Hottest Husband in America, 2011

As you know I love stories like these.
I also think that communication through the form of notes, cards and emails should be definitely encouraged in a couple. And this article has all of it. And the husband is not bad looking.

"I still write Julie love letters," Kyle says. "The one I wrote for her birthday last year listed all the reasons I love her." But for Julie, his most romantic move is the mornings he wakes up with their two boys, Luke and Caleb, and lets her sleep in. "Being a father is Kyle's favorite role and greatest joy in life," she says.

 Isn't that sweet. I wish I could sleep in too... Oh now  I remember, I do, most Saturdays I get an extra hour while hubby tries to keep the children quiet as they tear up the house.
Most days husband get a bad rap so it is good to see one being showcased in such a wonderfully positive light.

In a Gypsy world.

 

Have you seen this show?!!!

Big Fat Gypsy wedding... totally wild and kinda unbelievable!

I will say it again I watch too much television... and clearly I am enthralled with reality shows.

There that is out!

Anyway I saw my first show last weekend and I was mesmerised by the contradictions that this group of Irish 'travellers' presented. The girls dress very suggestively, practice gyrating dance moves yet due to strict gypsy code no sex before marriage. So as far as I can see it that it explains the early marriage age of alot of the brides. In the episode I saw, the girl getting married was 16 years! The dresses were huge huge and shiny. A really over the top show.

The reason I am even mentioning this show is because of the thoughts I had just prior to seeing the show... I had been dwelling on expectations and roles in a marriage. And how as couples we can get lost in our expectations and misunderstand the roles that we see for each other. In the travellers world the role of a woman is very clear- Girls are raised to be housewives, so they are taught to cook, clean and cater to the males in their family from early. Boys are raised knowing that they need to work and bring home the bacon once that is done then they get to hang out and drink beer with the men. Men/boys do not partake in any form of housework and helping with the children is a definite no-no. 

I nearly fell off my chair watching the two examples of this. The fiance of the 16year old went to look at the trailer that he and his bride to be were going to live in and bought it and said oh the place is a mess, but she will have to clean it out when she sees it ... on her wedding night! Because he couldn't be seen doing housework that is woman's work. The second and best example is of this very macho older man who was talking about his baby god-daughter, when asked if he would push the trolley that the baby was in he shook his no! He could never do that how embarrasing that would be if anyone was to seeing pushing a baby stroller! Oh boy.

Though when you go into a marriage knowing exactly what is expected of you and where the lines are drawn for you both, I feel that there is very little room for grumbling on those issues. I could be wrong. Though it must make certain things easier I feel. 

I remember my husband in the early days of our marriage accusing me of wanting to 'domesticate' him because I thought to ask him to wash the dishes seeing that not only did I hate to wash dishes, but I had cooked dinner. He nearly lost it. For our first two children he may have changed one diaper maybe two diapers and that is only because I was not home at the time and he couldn't pass them on to me. Maybe our adjustment into marriage would have been easier if we were as clear with what roles men and women held as in the Gypsy/traveller world. Maybe who knows for sure.

What do you think?

Do you think defining clear roles would make it easier?