Thursday, July 29, 2010

But I don't like it Hmmm...

Recently I received a gift from an old friend that I just didn't think was me
And I know that she must have said it is all me I could just hear her say "WooHoo this looks like Gayle!"
So I am stuck with the task of saying sorry but no cigar. In the nicest possible I will not hurt your feelings way.

Which made me think...
when we get a gift from a significant other do we do the same thing try to shield their feelings or are we more direct.

My mother was famous for telling my stepfather off if he got her something that didn't fit or that wasn't her style. Or worse she would simply say nothing and would re-gift it almost immediately to the first person that walked through the door. He started to take here with him when he shopped for her.
My hubbie is like her he doesn't mince words and that is why I don't buy him any gifts. Unless he has said it a few times that he wants it and or he goes with me to get it.

Me on the other hand I would sugar coat my dislike and would actually use the gift once or twice because the way I see it if someone has made the effort to get me a gift then I should appreciate just that.

Which way is better being direct and showing your displeasure in your gift or should you soften your dislike and just say thank you?
Or should you drop hints and make a list thus making the need for guesswork less?

Thursday, July 22, 2010

It is your decision choose it!

One of the most profound things that you can decide to do in your marriage is:

To decide to stay married!

It is a big part of your vows isn't.
Yes that part where it says through thick or thin, sickness and health. 'Til death do us part!

But for so many of us we act as we if forget this.
We even go so far as thinking that divorce is inevitable so lets plan for it before we even get married. Yes I am talking prenup and though most think that this is something that only the super rich or uber famous indulge in if you are honest with yourself you would see that you may have walked into your marriage with a list of if he does this then I am gone and if he does that well I will be so gone... well I did anyway.

And then one day I realized that it was silly just like I was never one of those girlfriends that mentioned breaking up unless I was serious and it was the end. There was no way that I was going to play around with the notion of divorce without a fight I was going to stay married despite the annoying toothpaste tube being left uncovered or even his even more annoying habit of not calling when he knows he is going to be late. Or worse!

This is why I started to piece together my thoughts in this blog because it struck me that instead of planning for a divorce we should write up all the things that we would like to see to make the marriage work.

Three key things that I keep seeing over and over and what I have also experienced for myself that every marriage needs are:

1) You have to communicate with each other.. if you don't talk to each other than it can lead to assumptions, misunderstanding and stagnation. And remember communication also means listening to each other

2) Touch each other.. make time to be intimate (sex is good but not what I am talking about here)


3) Decide to stay married! and keep working at it.

She says what I am thinking and have said. my new favourite read and inspiration.

Have you decided to stay married or are you biding your time?

For the next month I will be joining SITS (The Secret Is In The Sauce) in 31 Days To Build a Better Blog (#31DBBB) in conjunction with ProBlogger Each day is a new task to post to help me focus and make this a better blog. I am a bit behind so don't be surprise if I do two or more task in a post in attempts to catch up.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Over time.

My husband is a Food Network fanatic!

And it is my fault!

I am a huge fan of FoodNetwork and the television is stuck on either this channel or HGTV.
Since he wouldn't be caught dead watching HGTV (his words not mine) invariably I would switch it over to Food Network and we watch some cooking. So overtime he has been won over and now he is always on the channel or spouting something that Guy from 'Diner, Drive-ins and Dives' just mentioned. This is cool though it does highlight my lack of skill in the cooking department. giggle.

This made me realize that it is possible that even though in the beginning you may think you have nothing in common with your significant other than your love for each other that you will all of a sudden find that you do have one or two things in common.

And frankly if what ever it is gives you some together time then woohoo things are looking up.

Here is a link to a thought provoking post I read recently that speaks to compromising in marriage I am not sure I agree with most of what he said but it did make me think. Read it and see what you get from it.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Call me....

with the many numerous ways that we can stay connected.
Why is it that it is still so hard to receive a little phone call, text, email stating simply

I'm running late!

Sigh don't they know (your significant other) that you start to think all manners of possible ways that they may be...
laying in a ditch
wrapped around a pole
being held up by knife/gun point
you name it I am sure it crossed your mind

just after the possible thought of ...
oh that rat he is hanging out the boys again
yikes I knew that girl at work was too flirty
briefly flickers through and gets dismissed.

I think it should be a mandatory understanding that if you are running late or you plan to be late that you communicate this fact .
BUT I know it doesn't always happen.
This is what I would write in the manual:

I EXPECT a phone call whether you are late drinking with the boys or late because of work! And i promise to do the same!
What say you?!

Monday, July 5, 2010

I bet you knew this!

men who wash the dishes have more sex, The more men contribute to the domestic chores, the more active their sex life is with their wives.

Read More

Well seeing that this is a big issue of mine naturally I was drawn to this article on ivillage. There were so many interesting pointers and all that screamed out at me after the headline of course is that line 'men who wash the dishes have more sex.'

I couldn't agree more and those that help with breakfast too :)

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

We are not a good team...

Well not in the sense of the word we are not!
Oh giggle... I am talking about my husband and me.

We do not work well together.
Why is that? you may be asking

It is because we are both bossy.
We both want to lead
We both need to be calling the shots
We both want to be the BOSS!
And this has lead to many a heated arguments over the years.

We tried working together in a business but he wanted to be the boss and I thought we should be equal partners so that did not work..... and we didn't speak more than two sentences to each other for a month! Oops

So now you find I step back and let him do what he is doing whether it be putting in a light bulb,
photoshopping an image (I am a graphic designer when I am not a STAHM) or cooking.
And he does the same.

Strangely though even though we may not work together well... he is the one person I would pick first if I was in a crisis situation like an accident, plane crash or something of that like. And he is the only person that I would have with me in a delivery room (been there twice). My normally excitable, indecisively annoying, incredibly opinionated hubbie becames the epitome of calm, decisiveness and organisedness ( I couldn't think of the correct word). hmmm who knew

So my point to this entry is that even though we may not work good together, we can work good together if we keep our egos in check!

And to prove this point today we made breakfast
in the same kitchen
on the same stove
using the same utensils
it was good, fun and easy
who knew that we could do it, but we did
Time happens I guess.. if you let it.

No question just sharing

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Things You Shouldn’t Do….

Loving this post from Hope who's blog hopelesslycrushingonyou chronicles her crush on a guy
so I just had to share with you simply because it kind of says what I have been saying through out this blog and the name of the post is similar to the name of this blog LOL

You shouldn’t open your eyes in the morning and not see me.

You shouldn’t get out of bed before we make love

You shouldn’t leave without kissing me goodbye

You shouldn’t have to go all day without talking to me

You shouldn’t look at your desk and not see a picture of us

You shouldn’t come home from work and think about work

You shouldn’t have to worry if I care about how your day went

You shouldn’t have to watch that movie alone

You shouldn’t have dinner alone

You shouldn’t have to wonder if its ok to call me

You shouldn’t have to hang up when were done talking, I should be there

read the rest here