Shhh I'm trying to sleep here!

Well look at that it is a New Year and I am actually here to say hello!!

Wishing one and all the very best that you can fathom and... a whole lot more.

Really just hoping that we can get back to some semblance of normal this year keeping a few of the things that we learnt from 2020 though. I am a fan of the social distancing when standing in a line and well the whole hand washing thing I always did but absolutely love that everyone now has to. I would definitely keep the washing or spraying of all things and people that entire the house. teehee

Being married or being part of a couple certainly makes you you privvy to some weird things. You find yourself witnessing things that honestly you may not ever want to (Using the bathroom at the same time anyone) and you also may end up learning about things that you do that you would never know without your partner telling you (Yes you snore!). 

Very early in our marriage my husband found out my propensity to talk in my sleep. Apparently I don't only just talk in my sleep I have also been known to jump out of the bed and go rushing about in a haste. Now I remember nothing but my husband is usually quite peeved at me when it happens... as if I am doing it on purpose LOL.

I found this article on Bored Panda that was hilarious possibly because I may have done one or two of these myself ahahahah

https://www.boredpanda.com/sleep-talking-stories-hilarious-twitter/?cid=1

What weird little quirk came up once your partnership became comfortable?

Are there any other sleep talkers out there? I can't be the only one LOL

Cheers to a great weekend.

Be safe and please wear a mask if you leave your house!

20 questions

 Well look at this I haven't been here in 2 years!! GASP! 

2 whole years.

But it's been a hell of a two years. My mother died last year, February 4th 2019 to be exact, and I would say the last thing I was thinking was to write anything not even her eulogy which I had no choice but to do. I literally shut down mentally. I don't think anyone knew because I still smiled and fed children and got them to school and back, but I drowned myself in all things Netflix specifically Asian romance/comedy/dramas I am partial to Korean and Chinese.Yeah don't ask because I wouldn't be able to explain it either.

And of course this year has presented it own special set of challenges thanks to Miss Corona infecting anyone within coughing or laughing distance. I was always a homebody well now it's even more ingrained in me. The thought of wearing a mask and bustling around with people who may possibly be contagious and dont know it scares me so I rather stay home and wash everything that comes in with soap. Sigh.

Anyways, I am slowly getting back a desire to share my thoughts on things

So I have been reading a lot of romcoms yes I went from binge watching to binge reading. Send help LOL! And in a few of them I noticed as a form of getting to know each other/ icebreaker a lot of them do like a 20 questions date. And it made me think this morning that this is a format that could work for married couples as well even ones married for 21 years or more. Yes, the hubbie and I celebrated 21 years this year! 

Simple questions like:-

What is your favourite colour? Has it changed?

What is your favourite foods now?

What should we put in a will?

Do you think we would take up travelling when the children have move out?

Do you still like travelling?

What is that one place you want to visit that you haven't?

Seascape or mountainscape?

Do you want to go larger or smaller? Homes that is.

Red wine or white wine?

What song should we play at your funeral? 

Do you want a funeral?

Are you okay being placed in a home if you got dementia?

Are still thinking of divorce because of vicks?

Dogs or cats?

The reason for the 20 questions?

Because over time people change.  

My favourite colour as a teenager and young adult was purple no ifs, no buts but now it leans more to orange and gold and pink. Just saying.

Asking the silly questions can lead to the really hard questions about life that you as a couple may be avoiding. Having dealt with three parents dying in the last 7 years with both my parents in the last 3 it has become apparent that the hard questions will happen whether you want them or not. So it helps to be prepared. 

Especially when gifting your wife of 21 years a beautiful bottle of red wine for her 50th birthday when she is not a big wine drinker and if she is drinking it has to be white LOL.

Yes 50 happened this year as well. 

Have a good one friends

Teressa Robin Williams GIF from Teressa GIFs

It has been a hot minute! This year seems to be on skates going way to fast. Not making any promises, just dropping in to say HELLO! Hope all is well.

Sharing

Oooo I found this post to be very good

If Men Actually Did These 15 Things, Women Would Want Sex All The Time

http://myinformator.com/2017/05/19/men-actually-15-things-women-want-sex-time/

Favourite line:- "Unsexy things can be a total turn on. Take out the trash. Wash the dishes. Fold the laundry. If she comes home and is surprised with a sparkling clean house, she’s going to want to make it dirty again."

Boy is this ever true. I am not the least bit interested in the cooking, cleaning and washing that is required to keep a house running. And boy have I been grumpy because neither is the hubby. And having just released our housekeeper it means I have to do it all again. So I am actually living the reverse of that line right now where I am thinking no help with house then no sex for you! ... I joke well okay maybe a little serious LOL.

Anyway as I said it is a really good article.
click on the link and give some of it a try it.

It baffles the mind how fast this year is speeding by. It is October already I haven't once peeped in here and said hello!! How is that possible?
I guess life happens, people grow up, people grow old and some of them die and make you cry. But also babies are born and families get together and you feel loved.
Life.
I read this article today that I thought was interesting and I thought to share with you all. It speaks about men's role in the success of a relationship and how men who allow their wives to influence them have happier marriages and are less likely to divorce. I think the more men who reads this the better for us all. So go ahead and Click here.
 

Time happens and things change

I have only ever experienced the impact of a hurricane on a country as an adult. First hurricane ever witnessed by me was Hurricane Ivan. I was married with children. When the hurricane watch was upgraded to warning I was naturally panicked and wanted to bring everything outside into our tiny apt. I was convinced that the Category 4 winds would pick up everything in the patio and twirl it around like a mad dervish and smash our sliding glass door to smithereens. The hubbie laughed at me so hard telling me that I clearly watch too many movies and this was a Hurricane and not Twister. I felt bad because of my inexperience.

 Fast Forward to this year September and Hurricane Matthew was heading our way and much to my surprise this time we were in a bigger place without a glass sliding door and my hubbie was hastily battening down the hatches and bringing in everything that wasn't bolted down into the house because (in all seriousness!!) you never know what the wind would do cause it was a Category 4 Hurricane you know!

I just had to chuckle what a difference a few years makes. LOL

I enjoyed this article http://www.huffingtonpost.com/seth-adam-smith/real-love-is-a-choice_b_6039412.html
It speaks to what I have been saying throughout  this blog. As a married couple you make the decision to be married and to stay married.  Love is a choice. Marriage is a choice. You choose to stay in both.

Have a great weekend and make great choices.

Just saying HELLO!!

I am not even going to excuse why I have been away so long. I did not know it has been so long!!!
Suffice it to say it has been busy and stressful and sometimes not fun over here. You know that line in your marriage vows where you say through thick and thin. Well this is our thin times.
Well who isn't going through thin, lean eat salt times right now I guess. If you aren't please feel free to adopt the hubbie and I. LOL.

I saw this on Instagram recently and thought it really cute and stole it to share here.
 I especially love #2 because I love birthdays and #7 because wouldn't it just be great not having to think about who needs to eat or drink every two minutes?

Hope everyone is great! Please say Hello back.

Heart beats

I saw this on Allyssa Milano's Facebook and had to borrow it. I absolutely love this

I thought it fitting as so many of us are feeling all fuzzy and heart a flutter as Valentine's day draws near.
Keep good

It's been ALMOST a YEAR!!!! Since my last post. WOW.

Suffice it to say it was a busy year. It was also what could be one of the worst years to date full loss... loss of property, loss of family, loss of father-in-law and loss of health. Sigh

Happy to see the end of it and so grateful for the promise of new happenings.

Wishing you the same.

There is talk all over the web about peoples word for the year... So jumping on that bandwagon the word for 2015 for me is:

also quite partial to 

So I have two. What is yours?

Thought this was a good way to start the year here. Have a read.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

To drink or not to drink

Yahoo Shine's 5 Surprising Secrets To a Happy Marriage is really an interesting read.
The tips for a Happy marriage is interesting with  a delicious twist.
I especially love this:

"If you're going to drink a cocktail, pour for two. Although it's unclear why, both married and dating couples who enjoy between one and three drinks together feel happier than those who indulge when they're apart. "Individuals who drink with their partner report feeling increased intimacy and decreased relationship problems the next day, compared to individuals who drink apart from their partner or do not drink at all," lead author Ash Levitt, PhD, a postdoctoral fellow at University of Buffalo's Research Institute on Addictions, said in a press release. The effects were seen in couples who mirror each other's drinking habits, so if your partner is abstaining, you should too."

Do you drink together? We do sometimes. After reading this article I realised that the hubbie who has always been a  rum and pepsi drinker actually drinks cranberry and rum whenever I do drink alcohol. Strange the little ways you adapt to each other.

Read the rest of the article here.
And here is another good read : 8 Acts Of Chivalry To Bring Back

Maybe you have a drink or two together but most of all have a great weekend together.  

Cheers

Happy Valentines day

I am not a big music person as in I very rarely know who sings the song I am humming along.
But i have been really, belatedly, loving John Legend.
I am especially in love with the song he wrote for his now wife Chrissy Teigen- All of Me.
Makes me think of the hubbie. and makes me smile.

Happy 15 Anniversary to us!

Is there a song that does that for you?
Happy Valentine's Day my friends.

Hope you have a great day sharing hugs and kisses with family, friends and if there is one your significant other.
XOXOXOX

Making it a habit.

It is really interesting cruising around the webosphere ( yes I know, not a word) when it comes to marriage and staying that way the advice is not original.

Touch each other every day. Hold hands, sit close together for a few minutes.

Make time for each other. Spend time with each other.

Don't ever bad mouth your significant other.

Choose to be together. Choose to stay married.

And that is not a bad thing. To me it means that it is all tried and tested so should be easy enough to follow. Or at least be worth it to try some of the advice.
Click here for Habits of a Hot Marriage-great read.

If you have been passed through here a few time you would know that February is my favourite month. I go into great detail in this past post http://ishouldnthavetosay.blogspot.com/2011/02/im-in-mood-for-love.html

Valentine's day is 2 days away wishing you all the day and the surprises that you wish for when it does come. I love this post about Valentine's day expectations from the new to me blog An Inch of Gray. Click here  to enjoy as well. It made me giggle.  

The hubbie and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage. What an interesting ride it has been so far.
Here is to many many more.

Communication is key

First post for the year!!! Screech how did that happen? Sigh oh well i will just skip the preamble and apologies and just drop a few lines on you.

Saw this weird little video entitled  "If you want a successful long-term relationship of any kind. Here Are 3 Invaluable Things To Know" and it very simply outlines exactly what I like to say here when I do come a-visiting.

And the three things are

Commitment, 

Authenticity (honesty and candor)

 and Communication.

have a look....

 
What do you think of it?
Hope to be seeing more of you this year of 2014 and the year of the horse.

Always remember to share with your significant other what you like about the other.  

Because no one has  figured out how to read minds yet!

Hellooo Hellooo

I can not believe it! I just cant believe it it has been 4 month since I last visited here!!!!!
Yes I know it is a faux pas to add so many exclamation marks but I feel as if I could add more. But as we all know time gets in the way and summer was excitedly busy so so it goes. Hope all has been good with you all.

I came across this article on Shine ( yes I still am liking their relationship aricles) and I felt I had to share the link here with you.

5 Unusual Ways Men Learn to Be Good Husbands 

Great advice I think for both husbands and wives. I especially like this section

Keep trying to get it right (source: your partner)

Really, this is the most important person you learn about marriage from. There are the little things your spouse teaches you, like "Put the toilet seat down" or "Don't bother me while I'm watching Doctor Who," but there are also the larger lessons. It took me a long time to learn how to fight. I tried fighting like my parents did, but that didn't work because Karel doesn't respond well to yelling. I tried burying it deep down so I wouldn't yell, but that didn't solve anything because I went mute. So now I've developed a very monotone delivery when I'm mad. It's not like Karel enjoys my fighting voice (I basically sound like a robot), but she doesn't tune it out. We don't scare the kids, we don't scare each other-hey, it works for us. I could only have learned to fight like a robot from being married to Karel, and I'm sure she's learned equally valuable lessons from me. I'll ask her what they are just as soon as Doctor Who is over.

What he says here is genius to me right now. Figuring how to fight properly is an important key in maintaining a good relationship, because lets face it there are going to be fights and depending how you handle those fights  makes a world of difference in your relationship.

Keep trying to get it right also speaks to my favourite mantra when it comes to relationships and marriage in particular, which as you may recall is Choose to stay married.

:D
Well that is all for now click here to read the whole article.
Hope you are having a great week.

Oh and Congratulations to my friend Racquel, wishing her and new hubbie many happy years together filled with love, success and prosperity.

Just like Tom & Jerry

The other day I overheard a guy describing his 2 year marriage and was quite tickled by it.
He likened marriage to that of a Tom and Jerry episode where you spend all your time trying to kill, trap, or maim the other and just as you about to be victorious in the kill, it hits you that there is no way life would mean anything if they were gone.
Well my first reaction was of course - No way is marriage like a Tom and Jerry pfft what did he know the little upstart.
And then congratulating a friend on 10 years of marriage, she pretty much had the same sentiment.
Her response to the my words of congratulations:- "Can you believe 10 years and I haven't  killed him yet and boy have I thought of it a few times too many LOL. But he is a good man and I do still love him so."
And I suppose if I really think about it I would have to admit that  marriage is made up of a whole lot of sparring mixed with a good dose of make-up time.

What do you think?

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Unsolicited Advice

Well so much for my New Years goal of visiting and continuing the conversation here. Still going to try for more often if not every week as I planned.


Recently I gave a newlywed friend some unsolicited advice.
Yes I know it is supposed to be rude dishing out unsolicited advice but you must know I love to do it, goodness this entire blog is about unsolicited advice!
It was two nuggets actually.

The first was communication of course I am like a broken record with that one.

Talk and listen.
Talk to each other about things every day. In the link I have linked to from O magazine (I am a big big fan) it suggests talking 10 minutes a day about something that is not related to work, children or dogs just like you would have if you were still dating. It is actually a great tip to remember because those little conversations remind you and your significant other that you are person and not only mother or wife.

And the other ( I literally ran behind her to tell her this one :))
Touch
Remember to touch each other, sit close together when watching tv., hold hands for a few minutes don't allow yourselves to become ships passing in the halls. This was reinforced by the O magazine article that I read about touching and the healthy benefits it has on us human beings. Touching makes us happier. Now I am not saying that you give into any X rated PDA and also not about sex, though if it leads to that woohoo, but taking time to touch each other and be with each other keeps you close literally.


Click on thise and see what I mean
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Habits-Of-Happy-Couples-Happy-Couples-Secrets/3

Also a friend posted this link on Facebook and  I had to share it here as well! It is a man's view of  how to make it work. Marriage that is. It really is all in the mindset.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/3-things-i-wish-i-knew-we-got-married

Hope you are having a great week!
And are you touching enough?

A Positive light

The shower head broke in our bathroom and water spewed all over the room.
so to have a shower the husband removed the shower head and the water flowed straight from the pipe.
I thought it very inconvenient. BUT
My daughter jumped into the shower and exclaimed with delight … "I am bathing in a fountain YAY!!”
and you know when it was my turn I couldn’t help but giggle because I honestly didn’t see a busted shower anymore but a fountain. LOL

Have a great weekend. And try to see the positive side!

It is strange how things happen.
Take this pumpkin for example.
The vine where it originated was two houses away, which would make it my neighbour's neighbour house. The vine appeared to literally float thru the air never making contact or attaching to anything in my immediate neighbour's yard to take up residence in my back yard. A really amazing occurrence don't think. It sat in my yard as if it was always intended for that spot.
Doesn't it make you think of what happens when you meet that significant someone.
For whatever reason it is never who you think it would be who really catches your fancy.

It's February the month of Love *giggle* and for the first time since I started this blog I haven't felt the zeal to actually publish a post. Oh I have ideas but my problem is squeezing in time to get it done. Sigh! This February 14th meant 14years that the hubster and I have been married. Pretty cool if you ask me.
And just like the pumpkin it seemed like a wind, albeit a strong breeze, was the cause of getting us together and growing a relationship which blossomed into a marriage.
 
I didn't have my friends take part in my AHA series this year but I decided that this affords us the opportunity to revisit the wonderful women who indulged my quest to share in that magical moment when they just knew that they had met 'the One'.
http://ishouldnthavetosay.blogspot.com/2012_02_01_archive.html

Also love this post from Thought Catalog- 15 Signs You're in Love thought I would share it just in case you were wondering.

Have a great weekend all!

Say it loud

I happened upon a friend's words of joy about the birth of his new son and the love for his wife and I was reminded again recently how important words are in a relationship... especially good positive words.

'My son may look like me but it is my wife who made him perfect.' 

It was just a simple line but from it I am sure everyone saw how in love he was with his wife.

I follow a fellow Trini on tumblr for that same reason he always always speaks of his wife with reverence and unabashed love and dear I say desire.
I like hearing men and women gush about their significant others especially those couples that have been together for years.

I wrote a post awhile back (can you believe almost three years ago!!!)  about never talking bad about your significant other to other persons and I want to go one further and these two guys reminded me about it big time.
Click to peruse the use of good words.

January is almost over can you believe. January is always a busy time for me because it comes right after Christmas (no duh), school starts back and then my two eldest have birthdays. Over the last week I have been celebrating their births... time is flying so fast. They are both now respectively  12 and 10 ((sob)) and in the spirit of speaking good words I have to say I have been blessed with a great father for all these children. It is a joy to see them all interact. I did make a good choice.

So signing off by saying remember to keep your words positive. Saying them over and over makes them a continuing reality.
And lastly Happy Birthday to my sweeties.