A jug of juice

There is a certain amount of cheekiness that I guess all young people have when taking advice from older people.

For all of my pre-teen into teen years my Grandmother would give me little tips on being a wife. Most of them had to do with cleaning and though I still don't like to clean when I do I sure now how to do it right.

She kept insisting that I learn how to make juice.
Juice, in Trinidadian talk-where I am from, is usually a concentrate from a can mixed with water and sugar... lots of sugar. I could never get the mix right even if I was using something like Kool-Aid which you really shouldn't  get it wrong because the instruction is clearly stated on the back.
So my response to her was always :
'Grannie I am not worried about juice if the man wants juice he will make his own.'
To which she would reply ' Hmmph no man will marry you if you can't make juice!' and she would poke me goodnaturedly and we would let it die until the next time.
She has been dead now for well over 18 years and I still can't make juice.

I was reminded of our conversations a few weeks ago when I watched my husband very happily putting together his own concoction for me to taste, coincidentally on the anniversary of her burial, and it hit me that she wasn't talking about juice at all.

She wanted me to know that it is the little things like juice that help to make your spouse feel special and contribute to your marriage working smoothly.

Don't you agree?


Links that caught my attention:
http://unveiledwife.com/revive-your-friendship-in-marriage/

http://havoc-to-heaven.com/19-ways-to-stay-married-for-19-years/


 I have been attempting to finish this little post for about 2 week maybe 3 weeks now! I don't know what was causing the lack of focus.... hopefully it's gone now. Hope you all have been good.

A lil wedding advice

Well who knew that I would be so delinquent in posting on this space. 
It's not like I didn't have the ideas, I had those, for some reason I just could find the time. But it was summer and with all children home and my nephews added to the fray it I just couldn't find the time to say hello or did I have the mental capacity to think after dealing with 6 children for the summer, needless to say I am singing the praises of having a big yard and plenty bikes to go around. 

My little cousin got married last week and it was a joy to be able to attend the wedding. 

I love weddings,
the promise that they hold,
the love beaming out of the bride and groom and their family friends
and the all out positivity that the day usually prevails.

The fact that everyone is dressed all pretty is also a plus.

This wedding was no different... except it was clear from the beginning that they were going to have fun at their wedding and it was going to be about dancing because they held hands and danced down the aisle to the song of Bob Marley's We're Jammin.

My uncle's speech has been echoing through my mind since the wedding. The love for his daughter was apparent as he recalled all their many firsts, tears came to my eyes.
His advice to them, drawing from his 39 years of marriage to my aunt- yup 39! :-

Pray together,

place God first in your marriage and

never go to sleep, never go to bed angry with each other.

Good advice.

We have problems with the not going to bed angry part. Many nights taking the time to calm down and 'sleeping' on it has actually worked for us.

My advice to the newly married couple adding to what my uncle said would be:

Communication is key... take time and talk to each other and listen to what each other are saying.

Be committed to your marriage - choose to stay married.

& Hold hands often.

black-couple-holding-hands http://bit.ly/hb8seX (via @theFreshXpress)

What would you add?
Hoping to be around more often now that school is back in session.

"When marrying, ask yourself this question: 

Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory."

Friedrich Nietzsche

(borrowed this from Facebook )

What is your favourite colour?

Happy Friday all

http://forum.xcitefun.net/life-in-color-orange-t35106.html

I found this wonderful post at http://zachterry.wordpress.com. It is an old post but it is new to me.

50 question to Ask your Spouse on Date night.

Isn't it fitting seeing that Fridays are traditionally date night.
The questions asked are exactly the questions  that you and your significant others should be having and logging somewhere and I think that even if you think you know all the answers that they should be revisited a few times because sometimes the answers change.

The first five are fun and easy and I will share here. Also liked #9 & 22:

1.  What are your 5 favorite foods, with the most favorite first?

2.  What are your 5 favorite kinds of meals, with the most favorite first?

3.  What are your 5 favorite desserts, with the most favorite first?

4.  What are your 5 favorite restaurants, with the most favorite first?

5.  What is your favorite color?

9.  What gifts do you like?

22.  How much sleep do you need?

see the rest of the questions here.

Now don't laugh but I am not even sure I have the answers to these myself but I do have an idea of the hubbie's answers.

Strange enough the hubbie and I discussed #5 What is your favourite colour? just yesterday. Of course he is not even sure what his colour is. I say it is blue and on occasion he likes green and orange. He kinda agrees with the blue LOL.
My favourite colour is orange. It used to be purple but it has changed. I still like purple but it has gone down in importance replaced sometimes with bright pink. I am actually a great fan of the colours of the sunset.




Try it ask the questions and connect with your significant others... it should be fun!

Have a great weekend

Guest Post- Jenny Meyerson- Unsolicited Marriage Advice

Awhile ago I stumbled across the blog "Learn with Jenny" and I have been inspired ever since. For one Jenny Meyerson aspires to make a different cupcake every week for 52 weeks  and boy do I love cupcakes!
She lives her life fully and meaningfully as she can, recording all that she and her children do in her Project Life manual.

Jenny shares her, as she puts it, "Unsolicited Marriage Advice" with us.

Jeff and I often are asked about our marriage. We are great friends and partners in life despite enormous stresses in our 12 years of marriage. We don’t pretend to be experts but we have received several emails and facebook messages asking for advice so we are happy to give you some simple things that work for us.

1. Public praise, private criticism. This is the best advice my dad ever gave me. I do not speak unkindly about Jeff. Period. I’m not going to belittle him even if it makes me fit in on the topic of the day at work or when dining with my girlfriends. Jeff always says that my friends think he’s perfect because I only tell everyone the good stuff. Great! That means I’m doing my job as his wife, friend, and his greatest fan.
My guess is you can name more people who criticize their spouse versus build them up. I think we have the power to change that fact.

2. 3rd time is not a charm, it’s nagging. Ask your spouse to put the Christmas lights up once. Then possibly repeat a second request, assuming he/she didn’t hear you. But the third time is merely nagging. So get out the ladder and start putting the lights up, even if you are 8 months pregnant. Chances are when he drives up and sees you on the ladder, he will take over. I will not admit if this is a true story. See tip #1.

3. Go on a weekly date. This is an non-negotiable date for us. When our dates are postponed, our communication level seems to plummet. We tend to become focused on managing our home and children instead of meeting the needs of each other.
To build on this, we are working hard at adding variety into our dating life. Instead of just catching a movie, we are going rock climbing, exploring new restaurants, hiking new trails, and having a picnic. Our dates are also free from cell phone use and include very limited conversations about our children.

4. Give it up. Yes, I just wrote that. It’s not rocket science friends. It’s a physical and emotional need for both partners and I truly believe that you get out what you put in. That pertains to quantity and quality from both spouses.

5. Encourage each other’s interests. Jeff has been interested in golf, triathlons, poker, and cycling in our marriage. And I haven’t met a hobby or sport that doesn’t excite or intrigue me. Where we have really gelled together is that we are excited for each other to explore our own interests.
I asked Jeff to teach me how to play poker so that I could talk to him about his hobby. I biked 80 miles with Jeff on several occasions just to spend time with him while he was training for the Ironman.
In return, Jeff has been my greatest supporter with my life list and this blog. This blog was a gift from Jeff merely because he listened to a 2 AM conversation in which I spoke of my dream to start living intentionally and writing more.

6. Laugh. Jeff and I laugh A LOT. This has been a huge refuge for us during the past decade. We send each other emails with jokes or Youtube videos we discover. We love comedy movies and have enjoyed several dates to comedy clubs/concerts. We also surround ourselves with friends who enjoy laughing as well.

7. Don’t give others unsolicited marriage advice. Unless asked, Jeff and I don’t give people unsolicited advice on marriage or parenting EVER. Instead we offer our friends (and strangers) grace. We aren’t perfect and can always learn from others, even if it is the lesson of what we don’t want as spouses or parents. You can really offend and hurt people with giving unsolicited advice. This includes your family members and adult children. Even despite your best intentions, you will create additional barriers by inserting your opinions.
Blessings sweet friends – Jenny


 I think # 1 is key advice what do you think. And my mother and one of my best friends have actually given me #2 worded differently. I subscribe to both to this day.
Which ones are your favourite? Do you have any that you would add?

Thank you Jenny

remember to visit 'Learn with Jenny' and be inspired :D

Have a great weekend

This made me laugh

and all I am going to say is I am nothing like the shark wife!
 No matter what the hubbie says.
Have a great weekend.

Sunday was Mother's Day and it was by far the best Mother's day  I have had in the 11years of me being a mother.
All I have to say is Thank you God for my daughter. She did a great job of coaching the hubster at her young age of 9.

So I had breakfast in bed very delicious and then I got up and made breakfast for everyone else. LOL
Got everyone ready for church the blessing of this... no one complained once about going! Yay!
And then we went out for lunch with my mother-in-law. Where everyone was well behaved and in good-spirits yes a really good day indeed.
And I even got flowers woohoo.

I thank the daughter because before she was able to talk and understood the idea of Mother's day and gift giving... I think the kiddie show Max and Ruby helped as well.... I was lucky to get a card and  a quick squeeze, definitely not breakfast in bed. It was an concept alien to the hubster- he just didn't get it. Luckily for the hubbie I am not fussy.

I thought it was it was my hubbie alone who didn't get the concept but chatting with a much younger friend about Mother's day she was having the same experience as my younger me had. Shocker.  It seems that boys don't watch the same shows, attend the same classes or maybe they just don't pay attention.
You have to laugh! But the good thing though is that those of us who have boy children can start hinting that breakfast in bed is a good thing to do for their future significant other. And hubbies do get the picture eventually whether through your own craftiness or from a sweet little daugh ters who love the whole idea.

So did you have breakfast in bed on Mother's day? Did you care if you didn't?
Did you have a great day with your kiddies, with your Mother?

I know this link is five days too late but maybe it could be bookmarked for next year's Mother's Day to be left open if your Mother's day didn't quite go as you expected :-D
click here for 5 free Mother's day Gifts from Savvy Sassy Moms

Shhhh don't say anything!

WARNING: This one is for the male or female significant other... more the male but it couldn't hurt to remind the female counterparts as well.

(image -http://www.johnlund.com/cafepress/Dragon-Images.asp)

If you see your significant other coming at you spitting fire and you realise that the fire is not being directed at you, then please be sure to keep quiet, nod at the appropriate places and throw in a couple of yes dears. Now is also a good time to remember that clause where if your significant other is female that YES She is ALWAYS RIGHT. ( You can go back later and point out that she may have been wrong but now with her spitting fire no not a good time.)

Never never butt in unless it is to agree and please please don't suggest that maybe she is being oversensitive (this works for men too) or gasp ask if it is that time of the month.
Because if the fire wasn't directed at you before expect that now dear friend that heat would be very easily transferred to you. And that will not be a good thing for you.

First and foremost it is best to remember this that sometimes some situations are simply:

Thanks for sharing in my mini vent.

Have a great weekend!

Teamwork

Goodness so I haven't updated this blog in what 2 weeks and they change up the format!! I almost didn't know what to do to get this blog up. LOL
Well Easter holidays had me at once kinda busy and very lazy. The children were on break so I felt bad sitting in front of a computer. On top of me fighting the flu and my old age asthma see what we did here.


Recently I have been thinking about teamwork.
and how being in a relationship like a marriage requires teamwork.
Being a part of a team.
What does that mean exactly?

 according to Wikipedia

A team comprises a group of people or animals linked in a common purpose. Teams are especially appropriate for conducting tasks that are high in complexity and have many interdependent subtasks.

A group in itself does not necessarily constitute a team. Teams normally have members with complementary skills and generate synergy through a coordinated effort which allows each member to maximize his/her strengths and minimize his/her weaknesses. Team members need to learn how to help one another, help other team members realize their true potential, and create an environment that allows everyone to go beyond their limitations. 

I think everybody has an idea of what a team is and being in one.
I believe I have said this before, the hubster and I don't make a good team for the most part. We are both bossy, opinionated persons who are always right and both like being the leader. We are working on this though.

Looking at this definition however there is no leader or follower, just members. hmmm.
I especially like this part -Team members need to learn how to help one another, help other team members realize their true potential, and create an environment that allows everyone to go beyond their limitations.

What is your definition of team? Does it look anything like Wikipedia's?
Food for thought.


Have a great weekend.

10 ways to Love

( Image from Pinterest)

 

I know I haven't been by in awhile ...sorry.

Saw this on Pinterest (yes I pin)  and I thought I would share this with you though.

Happy Easter

A Co-Committed Relationship from goop

I want to thank again my Guest bloggers- Kelly Pugliano from MomGotBlog.com  and Andrea from multiplemama.com who so kindly allowed us to peek into their lives as their share their sweet A~Ha moments.  They surely made the month of love even sweeter over here :-D

I subscribe to Gwyneth Paltrow blog- Goop. It is one of the few blogs that I do subscribe to.

And I usually enjoy her newsletters.
She is actually one of my favourite female idols.
Working mom who in her 'middle age' added two new careers (singing and authoring)  to her portfolio how cool is that.
So why am I sharing this you must be wondering.. well this week's post is so interesting and relevant to what I think and say here that I had to share it.
Here is an excerpt from the post that intrigued me- 

 Commitment and re-commitment: "Lasting relationships use whole-hearted commitment as a place to come home to and to steer the relationship. Commitment locates you on your relationship map so you can move from where you are to where you want to be. Recommitting when you mess up is the key, and recommitting to reveal your true self and your true feelings is the crux of it. For example, committing to reveal gains real traction when, in the moment of noticing that you’re concealing anger, you take a breath, recommit to revealing, and share the experience of being angry. What doesn’t work is concealing, noticing the concealing, blaming yourself for concealing, feeling like a failure, noticing that your partner conceals too and jumping on the blame merry-go-round."

I also am partial to this

 "A conscious relationship is one in which people are awake to themselves, their feelings and thoughts, and are open to the flow of love and attention with one another. In a conscious relationship you can be completely yourself and completely connected. In a co-dependent relationship you have two halves trying to become whole: one person who doesn't love him/herself trying to get the other person to love them anyway. In a conscious relationship, both people know they're whole in themselves; they know they don't 'need' the other person to complete them. In a conscious relationship, it’s about two people celebrating together, not trying to get something from the other."

 Click here to read the entire post/interview on goop

Hope you enjoy it and you gain some insight.
I know I did.
Have a great weekend!