And the sun will set!

Steel Magnolia is one of my favourite movies.
I may have seen it a few thousand times.
Yet I laugh out loud,
I giggle
and a cry up a storm
and just when I am sinking into the tears
I am laughing again.
Every single time!

I watched it today and  for the first time it hit me, as I watched the family deal with Shelby's (Julia Roberts) impending death and the decision to take her off of life support, the importance of knowing each other wishes if ever a situation like that was to happen.

Would you want to stay on life support as long as is possible or would you rather have a non-resuscitate order written down somewhere?
How about when you do die will you be buried, cremated or sunk at sea (okay buried)?
A will? Yes one is needed, but how soon do you get one?

Yes today my favourite movie had me thinking some seemingly morbid thoughts.
Though they may be morbid. They are reality.
They are thoughts that should be expressed a few times with your significant other because just as life happens so is death inevitable.

So do you have a plan?  Have you ever thought of what you would do?
( I haven't but thinking about it now)

Parenting!

I am the strict parent
I am the Bad Cop to my husband's Good Cop
Most days I find myself being the non-fun parent while the hubbie is reveling in all his funness (yes I made it up!)

Some days I feel like how Claire felt in last week's Modern Family why can't it be me?!
I want to be the fun parent!
LOL

Where am I going with this you may be wondering!

Well even though we may have slightly different roles when it comes to parenting, the one thing that we tend to work together on is our parenting. 

We have similar ideas on how our children are to be raised.
We have similar ideas on the disciplining of our children.
We have similar expectations when it comes to being a parent.

Not saying that we don't knock heads over certain things like diet and supplements and certain therapies for our son on the spectrum or how much is too much sugar for our neuro-typical daughter. But for the most part we agree!

I believe that parenting on the whole is hard! Adding differing parenting styles to the pot puts way too much grief and strain in a marriage. If ever there was a discussion that should be had before the wedding would also be this one.
Along with the -do you want children?, how many do think would you like?
You need to ask -So how was your upbringing? What kind of parent do you think you will be

I believe you need to know if your significant other to be is a spanker, a belt wielder, a long talker, or a time outer. And then you go in there knowing what you are dealing with!

Joanna Goddard of  Cup of Jo  did a series 'Secrets of a Happy Marriage' last year and I am reminded of this couple as I write this post. The wife - Leigh says it perfectly:

We're madly in love, have tons of fun together and experience a strong mutual physical attraction. But our shared beliefs about family continue to be an integral part of our marriage. Now that we have our own children, I'm so grateful to have found a mate with whom the journey of parenthood is a joy, not a source of strife.

 So as I said even though I may not be the fun parent to my children by allowing a treat every night especially on a night after a class party filled with all the cake and ice cream that a daughter can eat. I know that my hubbie agrees with me and wouldn't give it behind my back. And similarly I know there will be days when the giggling can not end and it will be the hubbie who is playing bad cop to my good!

It is definitely something to think about!

Muah!

Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t. 

Isn't that an interesting fact to know LOL!
I stumbled upon this list on Yahoo yesterday 10 quirky facts about kissing and had to share it with you all.

I have lifted the one I love:

• A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout! 
• Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running. 

Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.

And of course the one I started with.

Do you remember to kiss your significant other when they leave through the door?
When they get back?

I don't remember, But look at the benefits I am missing
Today is a good day as any to start smooching!

Missing in Action and a Wedding

In case you are wondering I have been away .

I know I should have had the forethought and scheduled some posts or guest post or something 

BUT I didn't SORRy

I went with the twins to my birth land -Trinidad 

for my best friends wedding :)

Traveling with babies is no fun 

especially ones that cry on planes 

but the trip home was lovely.

This is my friend's first and dare I say it final marriage!
If she were to ask this is the advice I would give to her
(well whether she ask or not I am sharing it with her LOL)

1. Love each other! 
2. Be clear on both your expectations! Is he expecting a cooked meal every day even though both you are working are you?
3. Talk to each other- Remember to always find time to talk to each other. Spend at least 10 minutes with each other a day. (because life gets in the way)
4. Make a choice to stay married.
5. Accept each other differences.
6. Don't sweat the small stuff- it doesn't matter if the tooth paste cap is left off or the toilet roll is turned wrong
7. Always always make time to be intimate :)

Yup that is just a few  of the things I would share with my friend!

Have a great weekend!

My 7yr old daughter proclaimed very matter-of-factly this week that school is too hard and that she would be staying home next year instead of moving up to Grade 3!

Feeling sad, I had to give her a hug  because I knew that this was only the beginning.
The work is guaranteed to add up and maybe become even harder!
So I sat her down and reminded her that everything is hard in the beginning and
with practice,
practice and
more practice
you would soon find that the same thing that she once found to be hard would be as easy as pie.
And cited my favourite example of her ability to cartwheel.
The need to do the cartwheel perfect from the beginning used to bring her to tears
but with some cajoling she practiced and practiced until now she is a cartwheel expert.

Too hard!
Sometimes aspects of marriage can feel too hard to bear...
But you know what if you keep in mind that to be the best at anything you have to practice, practice, practice.

practice at communication,
practice at being loving,
practice at supporting
practice at being the best wife/husband possible
Then you will be on your way to perfecting that cartwheel
or in this case marriage
 And before you know it you can have the marriage that you been dreaming of!

Or in other words anything worth its salt is worth working at it!