Say it loud

I happened upon a friend's words of joy about the birth of his new son and the love for his wife and I was reminded again recently how important words are in a relationship... especially good positive words.

'My son may look like me but it is my wife who made him perfect.' 

It was just a simple line but from it I am sure everyone saw how in love he was with his wife.

I follow a fellow Trini on tumblr for that same reason he always always speaks of his wife with reverence and unabashed love and dear I say desire.
I like hearing men and women gush about their significant others especially those couples that have been together for years.

I wrote a post awhile back (can you believe almost three years ago!!!)  about never talking bad about your significant other to other persons and I want to go one further and these two guys reminded me about it big time.
Click to peruse the use of good words.

January is almost over can you believe. January is always a busy time for me because it comes right after Christmas (no duh), school starts back and then my two eldest have birthdays. Over the last week I have been celebrating their births... time is flying so fast. They are both now respectively  12 and 10 ((sob)) and in the spirit of speaking good words I have to say I have been blessed with a great father for all these children. It is a joy to see them all interact. I did make a good choice.

So signing off by saying remember to keep your words positive. Saying them over and over makes them a continuing reality.
And lastly Happy Birthday to my sweeties.

Reflecting on the past year

Wow has it really been 3 months since my last post? Geez! Here is a little of what I was up to...

2012 is over and strangely enough I am happy to see it done.

The year had a very tragic film over it...
It seemed someone that I knew or used to know died every minute of 2012.
And that doesn't include all the famous people of my age that are no more.
There were huge family outbursts and possibly irreparable damage done there.
The reality of our family dynamic is scary to think of... hmmm.
There were too many trips to the hospital and the inevitable ugly side of the aging process reared it's head too many times this year. To put it bluntly I have been sitting anxious all year wondering if that out of the ordinary phone call is bringing bad news of sickness or death.
Money just seemed tight all year.
Oh and that terrible Sandy hurricane that wasn't so bad for us personally but damage New York and other places like Cuba, Haiti and in Jamaica as well

BUT....

If I really look at the year and put aside what I mentioned before I have to say it was a good year
I made three trips back to my home land Trinidad... three trips is just unprecedented for me. (Thank God my sister works with an airline:D ) I get so much family love when I go home.
2 of my little cousins got married in the 2012 and I was so happy to able to be there and witness their happiness.
Talking about family my house was full of family ... and friends visiting. My little nephews stayed with us for 3 weeks wow!  My Dad visited for 3 weeks as well. At one point I had 14 persons sleeping under my roof.
My mother-in-law gifted us with a new kitchen  a new stove and kitchen cabinet refaced. It is so pretty who says things can make you happy. My kitchen makes me smile every morning :D
After 4 years we finally have a new car... that fits us all and a guest yay!! Well it is a new to us car but who cares if it is used it makes us happy. LOL
The hubbie and I are closer than we have been in a long while so the family unit is tight
and after all the anxiety I am happy to report that my father, his father, my mother and his mother are alive and well and also so is my Grandmother who celebrated her 94th birthday in 2012.
And all my kiddies are happy and healthy growing so fast and joy of joys I started back painting. wish me luck in keeping it up in 2013
I guess if you stop focusing on the negative long enough you would be able to see that the positives no matter how small will always outweigh the negatives.
So I have to say Thank you and good bye 2012 and with God by my side ( okay carrying me along)

I embrace 2013 and look forward to whatever may come.

Happy New Year to you all!

I don't make New Year's resolutions but I do have certain goals and challenges that I have set for this year. No pressure though. I do hope to be writing/blogging more this year so I do plan to visit here more in 2013. I am challenging myself to paint something everyday... missed today though but not fretting tomorrow I'll just do 2 small ones LOL.
hope all is well with you all :D
What goals have you set? 
Do you have a plan laid out for the year? is it one that you share with your significant other?

A jug of juice

There is a certain amount of cheekiness that I guess all young people have when taking advice from older people.

For all of my pre-teen into teen years my Grandmother would give me little tips on being a wife. Most of them had to do with cleaning and though I still don't like to clean when I do I sure now how to do it right.

She kept insisting that I learn how to make juice.
Juice, in Trinidadian talk-where I am from, is usually a concentrate from a can mixed with water and sugar... lots of sugar. I could never get the mix right even if I was using something like Kool-Aid which you really shouldn't  get it wrong because the instruction is clearly stated on the back.
So my response to her was always :
'Grannie I am not worried about juice if the man wants juice he will make his own.'
To which she would reply ' Hmmph no man will marry you if you can't make juice!' and she would poke me goodnaturedly and we would let it die until the next time.
She has been dead now for well over 18 years and I still can't make juice.

I was reminded of our conversations a few weeks ago when I watched my husband very happily putting together his own concoction for me to taste, coincidentally on the anniversary of her burial, and it hit me that she wasn't talking about juice at all.

She wanted me to know that it is the little things like juice that help to make your spouse feel special and contribute to your marriage working smoothly.

Don't you agree?


Links that caught my attention:
http://unveiledwife.com/revive-your-friendship-in-marriage/

http://havoc-to-heaven.com/19-ways-to-stay-married-for-19-years/


 I have been attempting to finish this little post for about 2 week maybe 3 weeks now! I don't know what was causing the lack of focus.... hopefully it's gone now. Hope you all have been good.

A lil wedding advice

Well who knew that I would be so delinquent in posting on this space. 
It's not like I didn't have the ideas, I had those, for some reason I just could find the time. But it was summer and with all children home and my nephews added to the fray it I just couldn't find the time to say hello or did I have the mental capacity to think after dealing with 6 children for the summer, needless to say I am singing the praises of having a big yard and plenty bikes to go around. 

My little cousin got married last week and it was a joy to be able to attend the wedding. 

I love weddings,
the promise that they hold,
the love beaming out of the bride and groom and their family friends
and the all out positivity that the day usually prevails.

The fact that everyone is dressed all pretty is also a plus.

This wedding was no different... except it was clear from the beginning that they were going to have fun at their wedding and it was going to be about dancing because they held hands and danced down the aisle to the song of Bob Marley's We're Jammin.

My uncle's speech has been echoing through my mind since the wedding. The love for his daughter was apparent as he recalled all their many firsts, tears came to my eyes.
His advice to them, drawing from his 39 years of marriage to my aunt- yup 39! :-

Pray together,

place God first in your marriage and

never go to sleep, never go to bed angry with each other.

Good advice.

We have problems with the not going to bed angry part. Many nights taking the time to calm down and 'sleeping' on it has actually worked for us.

My advice to the newly married couple adding to what my uncle said would be:

Communication is key... take time and talk to each other and listen to what each other are saying.

Be committed to your marriage - choose to stay married.

& Hold hands often.

black-couple-holding-hands http://bit.ly/hb8seX (via @theFreshXpress)

What would you add?
Hoping to be around more often now that school is back in session.

"When marrying, ask yourself this question: 

Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory."

Friedrich Nietzsche

(borrowed this from Facebook )

What is your favourite colour?

Happy Friday all

http://forum.xcitefun.net/life-in-color-orange-t35106.html

I found this wonderful post at http://zachterry.wordpress.com. It is an old post but it is new to me.

50 question to Ask your Spouse on Date night.

Isn't it fitting seeing that Fridays are traditionally date night.
The questions asked are exactly the questions  that you and your significant others should be having and logging somewhere and I think that even if you think you know all the answers that they should be revisited a few times because sometimes the answers change.

The first five are fun and easy and I will share here. Also liked #9 & 22:

1.  What are your 5 favorite foods, with the most favorite first?

2.  What are your 5 favorite kinds of meals, with the most favorite first?

3.  What are your 5 favorite desserts, with the most favorite first?

4.  What are your 5 favorite restaurants, with the most favorite first?

5.  What is your favorite color?

9.  What gifts do you like?

22.  How much sleep do you need?

see the rest of the questions here.

Now don't laugh but I am not even sure I have the answers to these myself but I do have an idea of the hubbie's answers.

Strange enough the hubbie and I discussed #5 What is your favourite colour? just yesterday. Of course he is not even sure what his colour is. I say it is blue and on occasion he likes green and orange. He kinda agrees with the blue LOL.
My favourite colour is orange. It used to be purple but it has changed. I still like purple but it has gone down in importance replaced sometimes with bright pink. I am actually a great fan of the colours of the sunset.




Try it ask the questions and connect with your significant others... it should be fun!

Have a great weekend

Guest Post- Jenny Meyerson- Unsolicited Marriage Advice

Awhile ago I stumbled across the blog "Learn with Jenny" and I have been inspired ever since. For one Jenny Meyerson aspires to make a different cupcake every week for 52 weeks  and boy do I love cupcakes!
She lives her life fully and meaningfully as she can, recording all that she and her children do in her Project Life manual.

Jenny shares her, as she puts it, "Unsolicited Marriage Advice" with us.

Jeff and I often are asked about our marriage. We are great friends and partners in life despite enormous stresses in our 12 years of marriage. We don’t pretend to be experts but we have received several emails and facebook messages asking for advice so we are happy to give you some simple things that work for us.

1. Public praise, private criticism. This is the best advice my dad ever gave me. I do not speak unkindly about Jeff. Period. I’m not going to belittle him even if it makes me fit in on the topic of the day at work or when dining with my girlfriends. Jeff always says that my friends think he’s perfect because I only tell everyone the good stuff. Great! That means I’m doing my job as his wife, friend, and his greatest fan.
My guess is you can name more people who criticize their spouse versus build them up. I think we have the power to change that fact.

2. 3rd time is not a charm, it’s nagging. Ask your spouse to put the Christmas lights up once. Then possibly repeat a second request, assuming he/she didn’t hear you. But the third time is merely nagging. So get out the ladder and start putting the lights up, even if you are 8 months pregnant. Chances are when he drives up and sees you on the ladder, he will take over. I will not admit if this is a true story. See tip #1.

3. Go on a weekly date. This is an non-negotiable date for us. When our dates are postponed, our communication level seems to plummet. We tend to become focused on managing our home and children instead of meeting the needs of each other.
To build on this, we are working hard at adding variety into our dating life. Instead of just catching a movie, we are going rock climbing, exploring new restaurants, hiking new trails, and having a picnic. Our dates are also free from cell phone use and include very limited conversations about our children.

4. Give it up. Yes, I just wrote that. It’s not rocket science friends. It’s a physical and emotional need for both partners and I truly believe that you get out what you put in. That pertains to quantity and quality from both spouses.

5. Encourage each other’s interests. Jeff has been interested in golf, triathlons, poker, and cycling in our marriage. And I haven’t met a hobby or sport that doesn’t excite or intrigue me. Where we have really gelled together is that we are excited for each other to explore our own interests.
I asked Jeff to teach me how to play poker so that I could talk to him about his hobby. I biked 80 miles with Jeff on several occasions just to spend time with him while he was training for the Ironman.
In return, Jeff has been my greatest supporter with my life list and this blog. This blog was a gift from Jeff merely because he listened to a 2 AM conversation in which I spoke of my dream to start living intentionally and writing more.

6. Laugh. Jeff and I laugh A LOT. This has been a huge refuge for us during the past decade. We send each other emails with jokes or Youtube videos we discover. We love comedy movies and have enjoyed several dates to comedy clubs/concerts. We also surround ourselves with friends who enjoy laughing as well.

7. Don’t give others unsolicited marriage advice. Unless asked, Jeff and I don’t give people unsolicited advice on marriage or parenting EVER. Instead we offer our friends (and strangers) grace. We aren’t perfect and can always learn from others, even if it is the lesson of what we don’t want as spouses or parents. You can really offend and hurt people with giving unsolicited advice. This includes your family members and adult children. Even despite your best intentions, you will create additional barriers by inserting your opinions.
Blessings sweet friends – Jenny


 I think # 1 is key advice what do you think. And my mother and one of my best friends have actually given me #2 worded differently. I subscribe to both to this day.
Which ones are your favourite? Do you have any that you would add?

Thank you Jenny

remember to visit 'Learn with Jenny' and be inspired :D

Have a great weekend