A jug of juice

There is a certain amount of cheekiness that I guess all young people have when taking advice from older people.

For all of my pre-teen into teen years my Grandmother would give me little tips on being a wife. Most of them had to do with cleaning and though I still don't like to clean when I do I sure now how to do it right.

She kept insisting that I learn how to make juice.
Juice, in Trinidadian talk-where I am from, is usually a concentrate from a can mixed with water and sugar... lots of sugar. I could never get the mix right even if I was using something like Kool-Aid which you really shouldn't  get it wrong because the instruction is clearly stated on the back.
So my response to her was always :
'Grannie I am not worried about juice if the man wants juice he will make his own.'
To which she would reply ' Hmmph no man will marry you if you can't make juice!' and she would poke me goodnaturedly and we would let it die until the next time.
She has been dead now for well over 18 years and I still can't make juice.

I was reminded of our conversations a few weeks ago when I watched my husband very happily putting together his own concoction for me to taste, coincidentally on the anniversary of her burial, and it hit me that she wasn't talking about juice at all.

She wanted me to know that it is the little things like juice that help to make your spouse feel special and contribute to your marriage working smoothly.

Don't you agree?


Links that caught my attention:
http://unveiledwife.com/revive-your-friendship-in-marriage/

http://havoc-to-heaven.com/19-ways-to-stay-married-for-19-years/


 I have been attempting to finish this little post for about 2 week maybe 3 weeks now! I don't know what was causing the lack of focus.... hopefully it's gone now. Hope you all have been good.

A lil wedding advice

Well who knew that I would be so delinquent in posting on this space. 
It's not like I didn't have the ideas, I had those, for some reason I just could find the time. But it was summer and with all children home and my nephews added to the fray it I just couldn't find the time to say hello or did I have the mental capacity to think after dealing with 6 children for the summer, needless to say I am singing the praises of having a big yard and plenty bikes to go around. 

My little cousin got married last week and it was a joy to be able to attend the wedding. 

I love weddings,
the promise that they hold,
the love beaming out of the bride and groom and their family friends
and the all out positivity that the day usually prevails.

The fact that everyone is dressed all pretty is also a plus.

This wedding was no different... except it was clear from the beginning that they were going to have fun at their wedding and it was going to be about dancing because they held hands and danced down the aisle to the song of Bob Marley's We're Jammin.

My uncle's speech has been echoing through my mind since the wedding. The love for his daughter was apparent as he recalled all their many firsts, tears came to my eyes.
His advice to them, drawing from his 39 years of marriage to my aunt- yup 39! :-

Pray together,

place God first in your marriage and

never go to sleep, never go to bed angry with each other.

Good advice.

We have problems with the not going to bed angry part. Many nights taking the time to calm down and 'sleeping' on it has actually worked for us.

My advice to the newly married couple adding to what my uncle said would be:

Communication is key... take time and talk to each other and listen to what each other are saying.

Be committed to your marriage - choose to stay married.

& Hold hands often.

black-couple-holding-hands http://bit.ly/hb8seX (via @theFreshXpress)

What would you add?
Hoping to be around more often now that school is back in session.

"When marrying, ask yourself this question: 

Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory."

Friedrich Nietzsche

(borrowed this from Facebook )

What is your favourite colour?

Happy Friday all

http://forum.xcitefun.net/life-in-color-orange-t35106.html

I found this wonderful post at http://zachterry.wordpress.com. It is an old post but it is new to me.

50 question to Ask your Spouse on Date night.

Isn't it fitting seeing that Fridays are traditionally date night.
The questions asked are exactly the questions  that you and your significant others should be having and logging somewhere and I think that even if you think you know all the answers that they should be revisited a few times because sometimes the answers change.

The first five are fun and easy and I will share here. Also liked #9 & 22:

1.  What are your 5 favorite foods, with the most favorite first?

2.  What are your 5 favorite kinds of meals, with the most favorite first?

3.  What are your 5 favorite desserts, with the most favorite first?

4.  What are your 5 favorite restaurants, with the most favorite first?

5.  What is your favorite color?

9.  What gifts do you like?

22.  How much sleep do you need?

see the rest of the questions here.

Now don't laugh but I am not even sure I have the answers to these myself but I do have an idea of the hubbie's answers.

Strange enough the hubbie and I discussed #5 What is your favourite colour? just yesterday. Of course he is not even sure what his colour is. I say it is blue and on occasion he likes green and orange. He kinda agrees with the blue LOL.
My favourite colour is orange. It used to be purple but it has changed. I still like purple but it has gone down in importance replaced sometimes with bright pink. I am actually a great fan of the colours of the sunset.




Try it ask the questions and connect with your significant others... it should be fun!

Have a great weekend

Guest Post- Jenny Meyerson- Unsolicited Marriage Advice

Awhile ago I stumbled across the blog "Learn with Jenny" and I have been inspired ever since. For one Jenny Meyerson aspires to make a different cupcake every week for 52 weeks  and boy do I love cupcakes!
She lives her life fully and meaningfully as she can, recording all that she and her children do in her Project Life manual.

Jenny shares her, as she puts it, "Unsolicited Marriage Advice" with us.

Jeff and I often are asked about our marriage. We are great friends and partners in life despite enormous stresses in our 12 years of marriage. We don’t pretend to be experts but we have received several emails and facebook messages asking for advice so we are happy to give you some simple things that work for us.

1. Public praise, private criticism. This is the best advice my dad ever gave me. I do not speak unkindly about Jeff. Period. I’m not going to belittle him even if it makes me fit in on the topic of the day at work or when dining with my girlfriends. Jeff always says that my friends think he’s perfect because I only tell everyone the good stuff. Great! That means I’m doing my job as his wife, friend, and his greatest fan.
My guess is you can name more people who criticize their spouse versus build them up. I think we have the power to change that fact.

2. 3rd time is not a charm, it’s nagging. Ask your spouse to put the Christmas lights up once. Then possibly repeat a second request, assuming he/she didn’t hear you. But the third time is merely nagging. So get out the ladder and start putting the lights up, even if you are 8 months pregnant. Chances are when he drives up and sees you on the ladder, he will take over. I will not admit if this is a true story. See tip #1.

3. Go on a weekly date. This is an non-negotiable date for us. When our dates are postponed, our communication level seems to plummet. We tend to become focused on managing our home and children instead of meeting the needs of each other.
To build on this, we are working hard at adding variety into our dating life. Instead of just catching a movie, we are going rock climbing, exploring new restaurants, hiking new trails, and having a picnic. Our dates are also free from cell phone use and include very limited conversations about our children.

4. Give it up. Yes, I just wrote that. It’s not rocket science friends. It’s a physical and emotional need for both partners and I truly believe that you get out what you put in. That pertains to quantity and quality from both spouses.

5. Encourage each other’s interests. Jeff has been interested in golf, triathlons, poker, and cycling in our marriage. And I haven’t met a hobby or sport that doesn’t excite or intrigue me. Where we have really gelled together is that we are excited for each other to explore our own interests.
I asked Jeff to teach me how to play poker so that I could talk to him about his hobby. I biked 80 miles with Jeff on several occasions just to spend time with him while he was training for the Ironman.
In return, Jeff has been my greatest supporter with my life list and this blog. This blog was a gift from Jeff merely because he listened to a 2 AM conversation in which I spoke of my dream to start living intentionally and writing more.

6. Laugh. Jeff and I laugh A LOT. This has been a huge refuge for us during the past decade. We send each other emails with jokes or Youtube videos we discover. We love comedy movies and have enjoyed several dates to comedy clubs/concerts. We also surround ourselves with friends who enjoy laughing as well.

7. Don’t give others unsolicited marriage advice. Unless asked, Jeff and I don’t give people unsolicited advice on marriage or parenting EVER. Instead we offer our friends (and strangers) grace. We aren’t perfect and can always learn from others, even if it is the lesson of what we don’t want as spouses or parents. You can really offend and hurt people with giving unsolicited advice. This includes your family members and adult children. Even despite your best intentions, you will create additional barriers by inserting your opinions.
Blessings sweet friends – Jenny


 I think # 1 is key advice what do you think. And my mother and one of my best friends have actually given me #2 worded differently. I subscribe to both to this day.
Which ones are your favourite? Do you have any that you would add?

Thank you Jenny

remember to visit 'Learn with Jenny' and be inspired :D

Have a great weekend

This made me laugh

and all I am going to say is I am nothing like the shark wife!
 No matter what the hubbie says.
Have a great weekend.

Sunday was Mother's Day and it was by far the best Mother's day  I have had in the 11years of me being a mother.
All I have to say is Thank you God for my daughter. She did a great job of coaching the hubster at her young age of 9.

So I had breakfast in bed very delicious and then I got up and made breakfast for everyone else. LOL
Got everyone ready for church the blessing of this... no one complained once about going! Yay!
And then we went out for lunch with my mother-in-law. Where everyone was well behaved and in good-spirits yes a really good day indeed.
And I even got flowers woohoo.

I thank the daughter because before she was able to talk and understood the idea of Mother's day and gift giving... I think the kiddie show Max and Ruby helped as well.... I was lucky to get a card and  a quick squeeze, definitely not breakfast in bed. It was an concept alien to the hubster- he just didn't get it. Luckily for the hubbie I am not fussy.

I thought it was it was my hubbie alone who didn't get the concept but chatting with a much younger friend about Mother's day she was having the same experience as my younger me had. Shocker.  It seems that boys don't watch the same shows, attend the same classes or maybe they just don't pay attention.
You have to laugh! But the good thing though is that those of us who have boy children can start hinting that breakfast in bed is a good thing to do for their future significant other. And hubbies do get the picture eventually whether through your own craftiness or from a sweet little daugh ters who love the whole idea.

So did you have breakfast in bed on Mother's day? Did you care if you didn't?
Did you have a great day with your kiddies, with your Mother?

I know this link is five days too late but maybe it could be bookmarked for next year's Mother's Day to be left open if your Mother's day didn't quite go as you expected :-D
click here for 5 free Mother's day Gifts from Savvy Sassy Moms