I bet you knew this!

men who wash the dishes have more sex, The more men contribute to the domestic chores, the more active their sex life is with their wives.

Read More http://www.ivillage.com/science-good-marriage-6/6-b-192660#content#ixzz0sqXlWzwW


Well seeing that this is a big issue of mine naturally I was drawn to this article on ivillage. There were so many interesting pointers and all that screamed out at me after the headline of course is that line 'men who wash the dishes have more sex.'

I couldn't agree more and those that help with breakfast too :)

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July.

We are not a good team...

Well not in the sense of the word we are not!
Oh giggle... I am talking about my husband and me.

We do not work well together.
Why is that? you may be asking

It is because we are both bossy.
We both want to lead
We both need to be calling the shots
We both want to be the BOSS!
And this has lead to many a heated arguments over the years.

We tried working together in a business but he wanted to be the boss and I thought we should be equal partners so that did not work..... and we didn't speak more than two sentences to each other for a month! Oops

So now you find I step back and let him do what he is doing whether it be putting in a light bulb,
photoshopping an image (I am a graphic designer when I am not a STAHM) or cooking.
And he does the same.

Strangely though even though we may not work together well... he is the one person I would pick first if I was in a crisis situation like an accident, plane crash or something of that like. And he is the only person that I would have with me in a delivery room (been there twice). My normally excitable, indecisively annoying, incredibly opinionated hubbie becames the epitome of calm, decisiveness and organisedness ( I couldn't think of the correct word). hmmm who knew

So my point to this entry is that even though we may not work good together, we can work good together if we keep our egos in check!

And to prove this point today we made breakfast
together
in the same kitchen
on the same stove
using the same utensils
&
it was good, fun and easy
who knew that we could do it, but we did
Time happens I guess.. if you let it.

No question just sharing

Things You Shouldn’t Do….

Loving this post from Hope who's blog hopelesslycrushingonyou chronicles her crush on a guy
so I just had to share with you simply because it kind of says what I have been saying through out this blog and the name of the post is similar to the name of this blog LOL

You shouldn’t open your eyes in the morning and not see me.

You shouldn’t get out of bed before we make love

You shouldn’t leave without kissing me goodbye

You shouldn’t have to go all day without talking to me

You shouldn’t look at your desk and not see a picture of us

You shouldn’t come home from work and think about work

You shouldn’t have to worry if I care about how your day went

You shouldn’t have to watch that movie alone

You shouldn’t have dinner alone

You shouldn’t have to wonder if its ok to call me

You shouldn’t have to hang up when were done talking, I should be there

read the rest here

Just 10 minutes...

I realize that at times it may be hard to really notice your significant other.

Work gets in the way
The children and all the responsibilities get in the way
making of dinner
paying the bills
road rage
laundry rage
computer time
stupid argument over toothpaste
you fill in your distraction
it gets in the way


It is all too easy for the day to pass and you haven't really spoken to your spouse other than to grumble good morning or hello.
But it is important that you schedule a minimum of 10 minutes a day to connect.
To talk about your day, to see each other.... to share a touch, a kiss even
It could be just before you go to bed or first thing as you wake but without that time for connection then you can easily fall into simply being roommates.

When is our ten minutes... the ten minutes before I go to bed ( hubbie usually stays up later bonding with the computer.)

When would our special talking time be?

It's not all about you!

Another post from that 'a Cup of Jo' marriage series says a key to a good marriage is trying your best to focus on what your significant other needs you to be to him, instead of what you want him to be to you.

This is such great advice

BUT

Do you know how hard this is?!
Thinking about your husband/wife first and not yourself.
In this the it's all about ME, self gratifying time we are living in.
Lets face it...ridiculously hard LOL because I don't know about you I am self centered!

However if we can at least attempt to attain just a little of shift in focus to your spouse and not the almighty 'me' 'I ' then we may open up a door of possible happiness and peace.

Borrowing a quote from the post
"Love your other how they need to be loved, not how you need to be."

Try it! what is the worst that could happen....
your significant other may like it
...or worse yet you may!

(oh I have actually been working on this myself and I can attest that thinking of what the hubbie needs before what I need is not all that bad)

I didn't have my cup of tea this morning

sigh!
It was on the grocery list that was given to the hubbie
BUT
he said it wasn't a priority the box of tea so he bought ramen noodles instead

You see my hubbie has no addiction to any early morning pick me ups so he laughs at my need for tea even though I have showed him countless research about the benefits of tea.. antioxidants and all that. The fact that I lace mine with condense milk and sugar is a minor deviation.

I have a cup of tea every morning before I say hello to anyone,
before I notice the sky whether it be grey, cloudy or sparkly blue

It is a priority to me...
without my cup of tea I am
like a lazy, energy less sloth that can barely manage out of bed much less get the children up and ready for school!

Oh well maybe I needed a break from caffeine and I will just have to curl up with the girls when they sleep because boy do I feel to SLEEP.

I was reading an older post from one of my daily reads by Joanna Goddard of a Cup of Jo and she did a series last year on the secrets to a happy marriage.

This post about Joslyn really stuck with me.
Her husband made her coffee every day, it reminded me of my mother and my stepfather...whose marriage can by no means be classified as happy or perfect, BUT the most positive thing that my mother would say of it was that my step-father made her a perfect cup of tea every morning with out fail before he went off to work. She would remember this wistfully and sigh.

It is the little things that soothe the soul and make you feel that glow of happy and contentment with your chosen other.

There are no questions to ask for the manual just a statement LOL

YES I DRINK TEA EVERYDAY !

What are your little priorities? Ok so I had to ask

Have you ever just wished you could have a discussion with your significant other that just involved listening and a few well intentioned
uh huhs,
oh no,
you said it girl and nothing else.

No plan of strategy to fix things
No well if I was you this is what I would do
No ... well I told you how to deal with this already
No ... this is what we will do

Just listening.

Hmmm now thinking of this as I like to do it hit me... why then can't we preempt a conversation that you know is just about listening, venting, chatting by handing over a card that says :


So the poor hubbie knows in advance his role in the conversation.
Do you think that would be a bit rude?
Maybe
But I think that it would make for a more peaceful existence between the two parties. Because there will be no incidences that could lead to fighting!

Well that is what I am thinking...
What say you?!