Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Saturday, August 28, 2010


I have to admit is not our strong suit as a couple.
To be honest sometimes I feel that just the mere opening of my mouth causes frustration to my husband.. poor thing.
I have lots of Edith Bunker moments where I know I am right but my Archie husband has questioned me or shut me up and left me doubting myself and my point.
I must say we are working at it though but I guess it takes time. And it is over 12 years of fuzzy communication that we have to overcome after all.

Yesterday I found myself repeating over and over I will not take offense I will not take offense. I got over myself giggled and then it worked LOL.

But it made me think of the television couples that we have been exposed to over the years (well showing my age here the ones that I have been exposed to )
We have Edith and Archie Bunker- She was the epitome of the submissive wife
Then there is the Harts from Hart to Hart- To me they were the equally balanced wonderfully adoring couple.And of course what about the Bundys in Married with Children. Dysfunctional but they stayed together.
Have you ever wondered which couple you are most similar to?
Well so far I know that we are like Archie and Edith gee I even have her squeaky voice.
Aiming for Hart to Hart- money wise unattainable...for now. But couple wise I think they were cool. I also like Roseanne they may have been crass and loud but they talked and loved each other and their children. Yeah maybe we can be like Roseanne!
Which tv couple do you think you are most like? .. curious to see what you choose.
Happy Weekend by the way

Monday, August 23, 2010

Surround yourself with happiness

Happiness is waking up to a bed full of children
as you are holding your hubbies hand!

Well to me anyway.
Recently I have been enamored with the picture of my friend and his wife.
She is looking adoringly up at him .... and they have two children. She also speaks lovingly and adoringly of him too and after two children.

I was so not adoring after my two children were born it seemed that all his/our faults were glaringly highlighted after the children's arrival like a very ripe pimple on your forehead the night of the prom.

I am always kind of jealous of women and men who continuously talk gushingly about how absolutely awesome their spouses are.

To be honest it kind of makes me feel like a heel because more time than not I am not gushing adoring about my hubbie because most days he gets under my skin and I am just plain pissed at him. And I am not the most affectionate person whether through words or gestures. Not saying that I am not loving just not mushy or huggy. (I have sensory issues she says smiling)

Of course it is all about attitude as seen in the new to me blog called "Gwen in Love" her post 'Good Intentions' states Your marriage will be so peaceful and happy if you live by the belief that you would never do anything to intentionally hurt your spouse. So true.

In the post she states that instead of getting all bitter and seeing the negative side of your significant other actions it would do you both good if you have a more positive outlook on the action.
Like instead of getting royally pissed that your husband keeps calling you when you are out with the girls because clearly he is checking up on you because he thinks you are up to no good... why not consider that he is worried about you driving home so late by yourself. Now this view has him as thoughtful and caring (by the way this works for guys as well).

Oh and also as this article at Forbes.com says it's best 'If you want to improve your relationship with your spouse, surround yourself with people in successful relationships.'
Can't argue with that!

So when you are feeling that you need to add a little adoration in your day, you should pull out your list of good words about your significant other and then give them a hug.

What is your idea of happiness?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Newlywed Game and the Sunday Newspaper

As much as we fight it... we watch way too much television.
And the popular programme of choice that we both can watch together is usually something reality or game related.
Recently we were watching the Newlywed Game (I blame my mother she is a game show network fanatic) :

One of the question asked was 'Which part of the Sunday Newspaper does your wife reach for?' And while I was thinking the comics of course...
the hubbie was saying 'Well the Style and Career section of course'

Can you guess who was right?!

Drumroll please.....

The hubster
Can you believe it.
I was shocked of course he was right he did know me better than I thought.

Growing up and into college the comics, then the entertainment /fashion section was my favourite read but over the last few years I do instinctively reach for the sections that he said after glancing at the front page headlines.
If we were on the game and this was the deciding question we will have lost the game because I would have answered incorrectly lol.
I think every couple should watch a game or two of the Newlywed Game...
yes it is a silly show and the contestants even sillier, but the questions asked sometimes are genius in their ability to foster communication and to add to your interesting couples only trivia facts.

Surprising at it may be when you least expect it your significant other just may be paying attention and may know you better than you think.
I say test it and see what comes out of it! You just may learn something you didn't know!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

100 ok maybe 85 things

During one of my blog walks I came across a blog I used to read www.chookooloonks.com/blog/
and she put together a life list that was pretty cool and made me think that I should do one too.
Well I hit the big 40 recently so yeah I definitely think it is a good idea.

so here we go
100 things I would like to do before I met my Master :)
in no particular order

1.) Hug a kaola bear
2) See if kangaroos really can be taught how to box
3.) Yeah I want to visit Australia and go walkabout for a few days circa Crocodile Dundee
4.) Take a pastry and cake decorating course
5.) Icing an entire wedding cake
6.) Write a How to Survive Autism in Jamaica guide
7.) Publish and distribute the guide
8.) learn to be organized
9.) Consistently reach to all events on time
10.) Beat procrastination
11.) Really learn to converse in Spanish
12.) Live somewhere else not Caribbean for three months or there abouts
13.) Wear red at a World Cup that Trinidad and Tobago is playing--- in maybe 2014? :)
14.) Be at the next World Cup
15.) Master the art of cupcake making
16.) Have my own successful greeting card and wedding invitation business
17.) Witness my son graduate from college with honours (yup that's right)
18.) Dance and be happy at all four children's weddings :)
19.) Learn to dance the flamenco
20.) and the salsa
21.) Learn to make a good salsa LOL
22.) Learn to make doubles and have them taste just like they do on the side of the road
23.) Write and publish three books
24.) See the light when taking photographs... it is the difference between taking just alright pictures and exceptional pictures
25.) Assist in a project to take the children off the streets in Jamaica
26.) Assist in the realizing and building of community homes for Young adults on the Autism Spectrum with the purpose of promoting independence
27.) Then spread it around the other Caribbean islands
28.) Grow my hair long enough to go into a french braid
29.) Change my hair colour at least once..a slightly outrageous colour might be nice.
30.) Move back to Trinidad to live
31.) Go on a speech free religious retreat
32.) Walk through a maze
33.) Really learn how to meditate
34.) Illustrate five children books
35.) Or find an illustrator
36.) Walk the red carpet-Oscar or Emmy with my sister in law
37.) Renovate and reconstruct the Gibson dr. house
38.) Have a functioning savings system and savings account
39.) Drink a glass of wine watching the sunset in Tuscany
40.) Sail on a yacht through the Greek Isles
41.) Party in Ibiza
42.) Climb the steps to the Statute Of Jesus in Rio Janiero
43.) While in Rio need to take in the 2nd best Carnival in the world :)
44.) Read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation ( and understand it)
45.) Eat a hot dog by the sidewalk in New York
46.) Ride a camel in Abu Dhabi (while visiting the recently transplanted in-laws)
47.) Sit in the audience of Oprah Winfrey's show (I only have a year to make this happen)
48.) make a lei in one of the Hawaii islands
49.) Learn to surf with my son
50.) buy a drum set for the children
51.) Buy ear plugs for me and my husband
52.) Introduce the children to soca music
53.) Introduce the children to the culture, the flavour and the tempo that is Trinidad and Tobago
54.) Be credit free
55.) Buy my mother the house of her dreams
56.) Learn to listen and hear what the people I love are saying
57.) Encourage my children to be the best that they can be
58.) Visit Alaska in the summer
59.) make Christmas pudding (Jamaican style)
60.) drink a glass of Ponche de Creme that I made
61.) Drive to Montego Bay with my husband in the passenger seat
62.) meet one or two of my blogging friends in person
63.) Watch the eldest daughter do gymnastics without my heart being stuck in my throat
64.) Be published
65.) Be happy
66.) start painting again
67.) achieve contentment
66.) paint a mini playhouse made out of cardboard with the older children
67.) make exercise a regular part of my daily routine
68.) do a head stand
69.) then do it again
70.) go to the top of Blue Mountain
71.) Pat a dolphin
72.) Then decide if I need to swim with one
73.) be on the flower committee in Church ;)
74.) Learn to make a kite old school style
75.) Teach the children how to make one
76.) Then actually get them all to fly high in the sky
77.) Explore all ends of Jamaica and share with the children
78.) Document this experience
79.) Play a game of scrabble with my Grandmother before she passes
80.) Run my own glossy magazine-hopefully fashion but possibly people
81.) Re-learn to play the violin
82.) Extract my impacted molar-finally
83.) Strum a tune on the Guitar after I learn how
84.) Own an honest to goodness film needing SLR
85.) Then get a Digital SLR with zoom and macro lens :)
86.) Have a bonafide High tea party with scones, cupcakes, cucumber sandwiches pearls and real tea with my girls
87.) Have a breakfast of strawberries and cream in bed in Paris in 2014
88.) Dress up fancy and go to an on Broadway play
89.) Then go to an off- Broadway play ;p
90.) sit next to the Dalai Lama
91.) Go on a cruise to anywhere with my mother and my sisters ( children optional)
92.) Learn to really hear the voice of my Lord (again)

Okay so I can't make it to 100 I felt like I was forcing it. I have been writing this list since July and I can only get this much But I think 85 is good too. Hoping to get all of this done.
Now going to share with my hubbie! (ok so I tweaked it since and now we have 91)

Have you ever thought of making a life list or inspiration list or bucket list? Of course it doesn't have to be 100 long it could be shorter see here
What would it look like?
Would you share it with your significant other

I think it would be a great way to bond! What say you?!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Happy Birthday to me

It's my birthday so have a drink of your choosing ....
it could be tea
and sing Happy Birthday to me

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Roles and expectations

Recently I overheard a not yet married friend of mine say that he was becoming more cave-like in his thinking.
He went on further to explain that if it was expected of him to be the hero at the roadside fixing a flat, or the car,
the one that puts out the garbage and mows the lawn
the one that gets the roach and lifts the heavy suitcase or couch
then it can not be wrong of him to expect a clean house and a hot cooked meal when he gets home without any grumbling or grimacing.
My friend Hope says pretty much the same thing in her blog post here.

And neither of them are wrong
as I told my hubbie when discussing the first statement

These expectations need to discussed before hand.

The first fight/disagreement my hubbie and I ever had when we first started dating was his expectation of me cooking for him every day ...I laughed at that because hey we were in college and hey I couldn't cook anything other than Ramen noodles and broccoli or Kraft macaroni and cheese with canned tuna. And why would I cook for him we were not even living together yet. Mind you after this disagreement I knew what he expected.

It shouldn't be the result of an argument that you a find out what your significant other wants and needs.

It should come up in discussion before you move into together. Because suppose you are expecting your girlfriend/wife to cook you that hot meal everyday BUT she works too and can't find the time, OR she can't cook to save her life and even water is not safe with her then what are you going to be pissed with her forever. i hope not.
Or alternatively suppose the male of the couple is the cook and wants to be the main meal provider and you are like hello no way this is my kitchen then what happens then.

Giggle I have encountered both situations.

The non -cooking woman ... my aunt actually learned how to cook after she got married to feed the children ok and her hubbie, but also she keeps a stack of take-out menus for the three days that she doesn't cook.
The hubbie that wanted to handle the cooking well his wife eventually said cool the kitchen is yours on these days.

Anyway I got carried away with the cooking topic
So how will your significant other know that you are not expecting him
to fix your car (there are mechanics for that)
or kill the roach (roaches just do not frighten you)
you need a clean house too but you expect the tasks to be shared 50/50 and cooking... well that is a different story
if you don't speak about it.
I think you may be in for a bumpy ride if you don't.

Well maybe not bumpy but definitely interesting.

What do you think?
Would it have been easier knowing what your role was in the marriage?
The questions to start off could be as simple as:
Can you cook? Do you expect three hot meals a day?
How about take-out?
Do you know the number of the AA guy?